A couple weeks ago, a friend called me to see how I was doing. He knows about my skin issue, but he didn’t know about my autoimmune disorder. Our conversation went a little something like this:
Me: My body can’t fight off infections.
Friend: WHAT? That’s messed up. Doesn’t that mean it can affect your organs too?
Me: Yeah..I have to be really careful.
Friend: OMG. That’s so scary. Aren’t you scared? Poor you. I never knew you were suffering so much.
Me: Yeah.. it’s very tough for me. I just want to be healthy. I never realized how lucky I was before.
Friend: Do you ever think that you might die?
Me: Uh..I try not to. I hope not! I don’t want to die yet. But I do think about death sometimes. I do get scared…
Friend: Man, I hope you get better soon.
Me: Me too.
We all know that we will die one day. But most of us avoid thinking about death. Perhaps it’s because dying is scary. When I think about dying, I feel really sad. I don’t want to die until I’ve lived a long and meaningful life. There are still a lot of things I want to do and achieve before leaving this world. Sometimes, I ask myself why I am so afraid to die. I think I’m afraid because I don’t want to leave my loved ones behind. I don’t know what is going to happen after death, so the fear of the unknown is a factor as well (By the way, just in case you’re wondering, I’m not dying..) Most people probably avoid thinking about it, but not thinking about it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. When it does happen though, I hope it won’t be too painful. It really sucks to be in pain.
Most of us don’t realize what we have until we lose it. It’s sad, really. It is only after I am suffering do I see things in a different light. Nowadays, I envy those who can walk around freely without pain. I envy those who can wear tank tops and skirts. I envy those who do not have to go through infections and the itchiness I have to endure each day. I never realized how lucky I was before. Close your eyes and imagine right now: How different would your life be if you were to lose your sight? Your hearing? Your speech? Your ability to move? Life would be really different, wouldn’t it? But we don’t think about this. Instead, we complain about life or the problems we have to deal with each day.
I remember awhile back, I watched a video from bubzbeauty. She said one line that really stuck to my mind: “Not everyone is blessed with time.” It’s so true. Honestly, if you are alive and healthy, you’re already really lucky. You have the chance and the option to do what you want. Be grateful for what you have.
Aside from emotional stress, sickness also brings financial stress. Currently, I am on medical leave and I’m unable to work. As a result, I have no income. Seeing the doctor is also very expensive. I feel very bad that I am causing my family financial strain. This is one of the reasons why I value insurance so much. Some of you may not know, but there is something called CI (Critical Illness) insurance. If you suffer from one of the CI illnesses and you survive the first 30 days after your diagnose, you are given a lump sum payment (the coverage is determined when you first purchase the insurance) while you’re alive and you can spend the money in any way you like. Now, obviously I do not want to suffer from a critical illness. But IF something were to happen, at least I know that my family will not have to worry financially. I can take time off work to heal without worrying about my survival. People might say, “Pssh, that will probably never happen to me. I don’t want to waste my money.” Well, I just want to say, unforeseeable things do happen. I’m an example of it. I may not have a critical illness, but I am suffering a lot and it definitely never occurred to me that it would happen to me either.
There are risks that can never be avoided. However, they can be minimized. One of the reasons why I want to be a financial advisor is because I want to help my friends/family/clients minimize their risks. I sell insurance not because I want to scam you, but because I want to protect you. I want to live a life knowing that my advice/presence changed someone’s life for the better.
Anyhow, that’s all for now. I am slowly getting better (And when I say slowly, I mean…SLOWLY). Hopefully I will be able to go out soon. I’m sorry for those who have been waiting for my responses through calls/msgs. I haven’t been in the greatest mood, so I may not have replied. Please give me some time. I will eventually get back to you. Thank you.