Avoid these 3 online dating mistakes + 2 great tips

To my dear readers,

I haven’t blogged in SO LONG. Haha. (Sorry). Today, I would like to share some of the online dating mistakes I have made in the past and also two awesome tips. Hopefully, this post will help provide you with some insight.

 

  1. Too focused on the outcome

This is a big one. In the past, while I was online dating, my sole purpose was to find a potential relationship. I didn’t want to sleep around, or waste time. So, my mindset was, “Don’t talk to me unless you want something serious.”

However, whoever you’re talking to doesn’t even know you yet. You can’t expect or ask someone to show commitment before they even have an idea of what you’re like.

Suggestion: After speaking to them for a week or two, perhaps set up a date to meet up and see whether you enjoy their company. Don’t make it like an interview style and ask questions like, “When would you like to settle down?” “How many kids do you want?” and etc (Note: I didn’t do that but you get the idea. It may scare off a lot of people if you come off so intense at the beginning. Do not plan out or imagine your entire future with a stranger!)

 

  1. Suffered from Oneitis

In the past, I recalled getting very attached to someone I’ve met online. I think it was because I liked him so much that I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. I was so focused on him that I wanted him to respond to me every day (and quickly too). I didn’t realize I was giving him so much pressure until it was much too late.

I remember having lots of options but in my mind, I was like, “No! I just want him! I don’t need anyone else!” (I know, so pathetic -_-). But when you’re overly obsessed with a person, it makes you appear very clingy and desperate.

Suggestion: Pace yourself in the conversation. It’s not sustainable if you want someone to constantly respond to you. Quality over quantity. Also, don’t focus on just one guy/girl until you guys are exclusive. He/she is probably talking to many others as well.

 

  1. Being too demanding

In the past, I’ve been extremely vocal about what I want. But if a person is interested in you, you wouldn’t need to force him/her to do anything.

As my student/friend said, “Grace, don’t judge a man by what he says. Judge a man by what he does.”

It’s sooooo true! Let his actions to speak for himself.

If a person wants to see you, they’ll make time. If a person values you, they’ll show you. Allow them to come to you.

Suggestion: Don’t make anyone do anything. Just let it be and wait and see.

Now that I’ve told you about the 3 mistakes I’ve made, here are 2 awesome tips: Continue reading “Avoid these 3 online dating mistakes + 2 great tips”

Advertisements

30,000 days

To my dear readers,

It has been a long time since my last blog post. Sorry! I am so busy nowadays. T_T. I need a lot of inspiration in order to write. Anyhow, I would like to share a real story with you. Hopefully, it will touch you in some ways.


 

A few weeks ago, I found out A tried to commit suicide because he was suffering too much. A was in constant physical pain and couldn’t take it anymore.

I found out because A went missing on a mutual server we shared. Everyone was worried about him and wanted me to find out whether he was ok or not. (I had met A in real life once so I had his number).

When I called, A picked up and sounded really emotional. I was bewildered and wanted to know what happened. However, he didn’t go into details. All he said was that he was in the hospital and that it may take him 2 months before he’d be back.

Since it was obvious A didn’t want to talk, we hung up and I told the boys that he was at the hospital. All of us were really worried because we didn’t know why A had to stay there for so long. Usually, Canadian hospitals would try to kick you out as quickly as possible.

Was he terminally ill? Did he get into a huge accident? There were so many unanswered questions going through our minds. Continue reading “30,000 days”

Dear Grace posts

To my dear readers,

Last year, on volarenovels.com, I started my own “Dear Grace” section where readers can email or ask me about a particular issue over discord. Here are the links to my 8 “Dear Grace” posts!

NOTE: The site has moved so all old links are dead. The links below have been modified.

  1. Dear Grace, there is this girl that I’m interested in…but she doesn’t live in my country. How do I know whether we are compatible with each other? I’m willing to travel to her.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/compatible

Cheesy macaroni

2. Dear Grace, I feel like women only want my money. I want to find a woman who loves me for who I am, and not for the size of my wallet. Why are women always after my money? It’s not like I have a requirement that she must earn a certain amount before I would date her.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/women-after-my-money

No money no honey

 

3. Dear Grace, why do I always get ghosted by guys? It really bothers me. Initially, they show so much interest in me. But again and again, I’m only left with disappointment.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/ghosted

Ghost

 

4. Dear Grace, I’ve been with my ex for three years. She broke up with me because she said she no longer feels the same. I can’t let go. I want to get her back. What can I do to make her change her mind?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/get-my-ex-back

Insane heart

 

5. Dear Grace, what should I do if I fell for someone who is not right for me?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/fell-for-the-wrong-person

love traffic lights

 

6. Dear Grace, my online friend will have to go through an arranged marriage after she graduates from University. I am concerned for her happiness. What should I do?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/arranged-marriage

arranged marriage

 

7. Dear Grace, how can I get over someone and accept that we have no future together?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/no-future-together

Let go

 

8. Dear Grace, how can I get out of the friend zone? 

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/get-out-of-the-friend-zone

friendzone gg

That’s all for now! Hope you enjoyed reading my responses! If you want to ask me something, feel free to email me at gchan7127@gmail.com.

The Magic of Thinking Big

The magic of thinking bigTo my dear readers,

Long time no blog! Sorry, I am really lazy and uninspired. T_T. There are times when I do want to write something, but my lack of willpower results in no action.

However, today, I am very inspired by this book, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz. I read this book at a bookstore and took some notes on my phone. I would like to share it with you guys today. Please take some time to reflect on the questions. You don’t have to tell me the answers. You can just answer them in your mind.

Note: The bold words are from the book itself.

Persons with mediocre accomplishments are quick to explain why they haven’t, why they don’t, why they can’t, and why they aren’t.

Which type are you?

Most of us make two basic errors with respect to intelligence: 

  1. We underestimate our own brainpower
  2. We overestimate the other fellow’s brainpower 

Don’t underestimate yourself. You can always do more; be more. 

See what can be, not just what is. 

What can you see? 

The price tag the world puts on us is just about identical to the one we put on ourselves. 

How much do you think you’re worth? 

Eliminate the word impossible from your thinking and speaking vocabularies. Impossible is a failure word. 

If you’ve already made up your mind that it is impossible, you’ll never take the necessary action to get what you want.  Continue reading “The Magic of Thinking Big”

Who says you can’t? You do

Who says you can'tIt has been so long since I last blogged! Today, I’m back again with another inspirational post. This time, I’m going to be posting quotes from the book “Who says you can’t? You do” by Daniel Chidiac.

All the quotes I’m about to mention are from the novel itself. I reflect on everything Daniel says and it really pushes me to be more. It is incredibly empowering and motivational. I hope his words will also have a similar effect on you.

If you take a good look around, you will notice that most people would have perceived every creation as impossible before it was created.

Everything seems impossible at first. If 30 years ago, someone told you that in the future they would be able to use their phones to take pictures and face-time with someone across the world, would you have believed it?

I hear people say to me, “I know how life works; you wake up, go to work, and come home. It’s the same thing every day.” My reply is, “No, that’s how your life works.”

This is so powerful. How does this statement make you feel?

It is only achievement and fulfilment together that brands someone truly successful.

I completely agree. What is your definition of success?

Most people know what they want; they just believe it’s out of their reach. We let so many dreams, visions and ideals slip because we think others might find them stupid, that it will be too hard, or we give up due to the hurdles we come across. 

Sometimes, it seems like it’s impossible. As a result, we don’t even bother to try in order to avoid the likelihood of disappointment.

Everyone on the road of achievement has experienced self-doubt. Those who win, though, always overpower that doubt with self-assurance. You’re not the only one that has or will experience hardship on your road.

You’re not the only one who is experiencing hardship. But if it’s something you want, you must persevere.  Continue reading “Who says you can’t? You do”

7 signs she is interested in you

To my dear readers,

Long time no blog!! I haven’t forgotten you guys!! I’ve just been putting my translations as a priority. However, I made a promise to myself that I’ll try to experience and attempt more new things this year. One thing I’ve always told myself was to create youtube videos and learn how to edit.

Today, I am finally posting a video that I edited entirely on my own. I’m sorry for the awkward editing. -_-” I really did try my best. I have a terrible memory, so I had to keep looking down to remember my points. The original file had a lot of long pauses and “uh”…. I’ve already tried to cut it down as smoothly as I could.

I also noticed I move my head a lot. I need to learn how to remain still!

The video is less than 3 minutes but the editing took me hours (because I had no idea what I was doing). I made so many mistakes and kept deleting the wrong clips. At first, there was no audio playing in the background. Furthermore, I had no idea how to cut parts I didn’t want. Each time I tried to delete stuff, the whole file would delete. It drove me insane!! Ahhhhhhhh! I had to google and watch many videos on how to edit videos (which helped a lot since reading instructions only confused me haha).

 

Continue reading “7 signs she is interested in you”

The Art of War

The Art of War

The Art of War

Yesterday, I was on amazon.ca browsing through books. I happened to come across “The Art of War”. I’ve always heard a lot of great things about the book, so I decided to give it a try. I noticed it was free to read on kindle, so I downloaded a copy and read it on my laptop (I’m not sure why it’s free, but yay for free stuff!! :D). But since it was relatively short, it’s probably not the full version. However, I thought it was rather powerful so I wanted to share some of my interpretations with my readers.

In this post, I’ve only chosen 5 quotes from the book that resonated a lot with me. If you like what you read, head on to download the free copy on amazon and read it yourself!

Now in order to kill the enemy, our men must be roused to anger; that there may be advantage from defeating the enemy, they must have their rewards.

There must be a purpose for your men. Why would they risk their lives for their country unless they feel threatened? It is crucial to drive emotions into them. If they don’t see any benefits of their sacrifices, they are not going to fight. Fear and anger are powerful forces. As my ex-student Johnson says, “They took everything, and they’ll do it again.” (His slogan for his propaganda poster). You need a strong purpose to carry on.

Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.

Oftentimes, we may believe that in order to win a war, we must fight. The more men, weapons, machinery we have, the more superior we are. But, your goal shouldn’t be to use up all your resources. Instead, aim to win your battle with ease. If you’re able to crush your opponents without fighting, you are truly skilled. Continue reading “The Art of War”