Month: February 2017

The Power of Habit

the-power-of-habit

This post is based on the book, “The power of habit” by Charlies Duhigg. I actually read this book awhile ago but I haven’t written a post on it until now because it is very difficult to write a post that has less than a thousand words when the book is so compacted with information.

Anyhow, I shall try my best.

Basically, in the core of every habit, there is a cue -> routine -> and reward. Something has to happen and trigger you to do a task. In addition, we don’t want to do it unless we are getting a reward from it.

For example: You’re upset (cue), and then you start to eat (routine), then you feel better (reward).

Rewards from drinking?

“Often, intoxication doesn’t make the list. Alcoholics crave a drink because it offers escape, relaxation, companionship, the blunting of anxieties, and an opportunity for emotional release. They don’t necessarily crave getting drunk.” 

To me, this is very interesting because I know a lot of people struggling from addiction and I always want to provide ways for them to quit. However, the golden rule of habit change is that you can’t extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it.

And how do you do that?

You have to change the routine but understand that the cue  (For example: stress) and the reward (feeling less stressed) will be the same. 

So, first, you have to figure out the cue. Ex. You know that you want to drink because it makes you feel less stressed.

Now that you’re aware of what triggers your behaviour, it is easier to control.

Is there anything else that makes you feel better when you’re stressed? As long as you can find an activity that can give you the same reward (feeling less stressed), you will be able to change your habit.

Another interesting part about the book was the story about Febreze. For those of you who live in North America, you are probably familiar with the brand Febreze. Febreze is a brand of household odour eliminators manufactured by P&G.

Basically, when P&G first created this product, they thought it would be a massive success. They thought, “Wow! We have such a great product! People will buy it because they wouldn’t want their homes to stink!”

But they were wrong.  Continue reading “The Power of Habit”

Asking the right questions

To my dear readers,

If you can’t tell by now, the translator of “The Eunuch is Pregnant” is from theeunuch dot com. All the other sites have stolen my translations. Since they keep stealing my stuff, they might as well steal my blog posts too. I started off as a blogger anyway. Here’s a post I wrote a year ago. (Btw, I linked a video too, I wonder if the aggregators will upload that too?)

I am featured in a podcast with some of my friends from Faulty Logix! In the episode, I shared about why I started blogging, some of my most popular posts, some personal stories (including receiving an inappropriate pic once!) The guys and I also had a discussion about whether guys and girls can be purely friends. Feel free to listen! If you like what you hear, don’t forget to subscribe and follow them!

 

ask-the-right-questions

On another note, I want to tell you guys how to get close to someone. The key, is to ask the right questions. Oftentimes, the questions we ask or get asked are too surface level. Ex. “Hey, what’s new?” “How’s work?” These type of questions will usually only give you short and simple responses.

In order to really get to know someone, you have to dig deeper. Here are some deeper questions you could ask:

1. Who is your hero? What qualities make them your choice?
2. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy? Why?
3. What values are important to you?
4. What scares you? 
5. What makes you feel alive? 

These questions will definitely give you a much better idea of what the person is like because answering these questions require a lot more thought. The person actually has to think and be a bit vulnerable. Continue reading “Asking the right questions”

Don’t assume

To my dear readers,

I’m back! Sorry for not posting last week. I was very unwell. Fortunately, I feel better now. 🙂   Anyhow, today’s post is based on one of my real life interactions with a friend.

A few weeks ago, I finally caught up with my friend Nathan (fake name) after four years of not seeing him. Back in the days, we used to go to events and parties together. But due to my autoimmune disorder, I had been too ill in the past few years to attend any of his parties.

Nonetheless, we still stayed in touch via facebook and would update each other from time to time.

When we met up, Nathan was telling me how he had been going through depression and wanted to kill himself. Here was part of our conversation:

Nathan: Grace, you know, last year was so hard for me. I wanted to kill myself because I felt like my life was not worth living. My job contract ended and I didn’t get extended. I turned 30 and I am still living at home. Everyone on facebook seems to be doing better than me. I thought by now I would have a place of my own. I thought by now, I would have my own family.  Continue reading “Don’t assume”