The Power of Habit


This post is based on the book, “The power of habit” by Charlies Duhigg. I actually read this book awhile ago but I haven’t written a post on it until now because it is very difficult to write a post that has less than a thousand words when the book is so compacted with information.

Anyhow, I shall try my best.

Basically, in the core of every habit, there is a cue -> routine -> and reward. Something has to happen and trigger you to do a task. In addition, we don’t want to do it unless we are getting a reward from it.

For example: You’re upset (cue), and then you start to eat (routine), then you feel better (reward).

Rewards from drinking?

“Often, intoxication doesn’t make the list. Alcoholics crave a drink because it offers escape, relaxation, companionship, the blunting of anxieties, and an opportunity for emotional release. They don’t necessarily crave getting drunk.” 

To me, this is very interesting because I know a lot of people struggling from addiction and I always want to provide ways for them to quit. However, the golden rule of habit change is that you can’t extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it.

And how do you do that?

You have to change the routine but understand that the cue  (For example: stress) and the reward (feeling less stressed) will be the same. 

So, first, you have to figure out the cue. Ex. You know that you want to drink because it makes you feel less stressed.

Now that you’re aware of what triggers your behaviour, it is easier to control.

Is there anything else that makes you feel better when you’re stressed? As long as you can find an activity that can give you the same reward (feeling less stressed), you will be able to change your habit.

Another interesting part about the book was the story about Febreze. For those of you who live in North America, you are probably familiar with the brand Febreze. Febreze is a brand of household odour eliminators manufactured by P&G.

Basically, when P&G first created this product, they thought it would be a massive success. They thought, “Wow! We have such a great product! People will buy it because they wouldn’t want their homes to stink!”

But they were wrong.  Continue reading “The Power of Habit”


Why people test each other

Relationship test

This week’s relationship topic was suggested by my friend, Dan. I am focusing on relationships here, but in general, people test each other all the time.

Here are some of the reasons why I think people test each other in relationships:

1. They want to know how much you care. For instance, a person might stop texting for a couple of days to see if the other person would initiate. A person might ask a ridiculous question and see how you react/respond. Ex. Would you save me or _______ if we both fell in the river? (This is a stupid question, but it’s a common one)

2. They want to know their competition. By asking questions such as: “Do you think she/he is attractive?” The person will be able to tell what type of girls/guys you are into (unless you lie). Some people may ask and get jealous by the answers (because they want to be your only object of desire). Some may ask simply due to curiosity; and some may ask so they know how to avoid/get rid of their competition.

Continue reading “Why people test each other”

Born To Win


It turns out that my Uncle Aaron reads my blog!!!! He checks my facebook weekly for my new post! I am quite delighted and surprised because I never knew I had a secret fan. (Hehe, thanks Uncle!) Anyhow, my uncle recommended a book called, “Born To Win” to me, and he gave me his copy from 40 years ago! Currently, I’m still in the process of reading it but it’s very interesting. I am actually taking notes as I read it. Haha. It is a book on psychology, and there are many experiments and exercises you can do that allows you to become more aware of the person that you are.

There are two topics that especially stood out to me, and I want to share it with my readers.

Continue reading “Born To Win”