My 6 dates with 6 guys on Hinge

Me posing with treesI debated a long time whether I should write this post. This is a continuation of my previous post, “My dating experience on Hinge.” If you haven’t read that yet, you should read it first before proceeding.

Everything I’m about to say were my honest thoughts –what I was thinking at the time, and how I felt about it.

Disclaimer: While I was chatting with all of them simultaneously, by no means was I trying to “play around” with other people’s emotions. I genuinely spent a lot of time trying to get to know each of them.

To keep them anonymous, I’m going to call the guys: A, B, C, D, E, and F. They’re in the order that I met them in.

I started talking to A because he read my blog. Because of his comment to one of my prompts, I knew he took the time to read my post. At the time, my latest post was 30,000 days, and it was about how most people only have 30,000 days on Earth.

Personally, if a guy actually takes the time to read my blog, I’m almost guaranteed to respond and chat. I really like how they would take the time to try to get to know me beyond the physical aspect.

Anyhow, I soon found out A was intense. This guy likes doing so many physical activities. At the time, he was training daily for a marathon.

Since we spoke in September of last year, my memory is a bit rusty. I think he was preparing for a 22km run in Montreal.

He mentioned about going for runs together, and I was like.. uh.. ok you run the first 20km and I’ll join for the last 2km. AHAHAHAHA.

A gave me the impression that he was really nice, independent, more of a listener type, hardcore, and kind of quiet.

I found out he was from Mauritius and he actually spoke French very fluently. Now, I’m someone who really likes languages and French is a very sexy language. *sigh* The French accent is so hot.

As a Canadian, French is actually one of our national languages. Sadly, despite the mandatory classes from Grade 4-9, I can’t communicate in French at all. I only know very basic vocabulary. I can’t even ask a question properly because I don’t know how the grammar structure work. *cries*

Ok, back on topic.

I really admire people who can do things that I can’t do. During our date, I tried to get A to teach me some French and roll the R (but I still fail). I had a list, and he helped me, but I can’t remember jack shit (please excuse my language). I feel like I really need someone to speak to me or be exposed in that environment in order to learn. Sigh.

A and I lived very very far apart from each other. So we decided to meet halfway, and met at Yonge and Finch.

We met at a café and I thought it was kind of cute how he had a hat on. I think he was trying to hide his hair or something (either it was too long or too messy?).

He was actually a lot more quiet in person than online. I wasn’t sure whether he was shy or he just didn’t want to talk too much.

But as a person who talks a lot, it didn’t bother me. AHAHAHAHA. We had a nice conversation and soon, it was dinner time.

I didn’t want to force A to eat me with me, so I gave him the opportunity to leave. I said, “Do you need to go home? I know you have to wake up early for work.” (I always give guys a chance to leave if they want to. I know some people just stay for the sake of being polite.)

A had his chance to leave but decided to stay out, so we went somewhere nearby and had Korean food.

A’s family is in Montreal, and he mentioned driving there often to see them. It was pretty crazy because eventually I found out we have a mutual friend/acquaintance. Apparently, someone I know (a friend of a friend) was his neighbour back in Mauritius! What a small world.

Omg, this is getting too long. I’m not going to go into too many details. Anyway, we had a nice dinner. By the time we left, it was already 10 something. We met up around 6?? I am assuming he enjoyed it, or he would’ve left sooner than later. He had to wake up at 6:30am for work on a daily basis. *cries for A* Continue reading “My 6 dates with 6 guys on Hinge”

Dear Grace posts

To my dear readers,

Last year, on volarenovels.com, I started my own “Dear Grace” section where readers can email or ask me about a particular issue over discord. Here are the links to my 8 “Dear Grace” posts!

NOTE: The site has moved so all old links are dead. The links below have been modified.

  1. Dear Grace, there is this girl that I’m interested in…but she doesn’t live in my country. How do I know whether we are compatible with each other? I’m willing to travel to her.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/compatible

Cheesy macaroni

2. Dear Grace, I feel like women only want my money. I want to find a woman who loves me for who I am, and not for the size of my wallet. Why are women always after my money? It’s not like I have a requirement that she must earn a certain amount before I would date her.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/women-after-my-money

No money no honey

 

3. Dear Grace, why do I always get ghosted by guys? It really bothers me. Initially, they show so much interest in me. But again and again, I’m only left with disappointment.

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/ghosted

Ghost

 

4. Dear Grace, I’ve been with my ex for three years. She broke up with me because she said she no longer feels the same. I can’t let go. I want to get her back. What can I do to make her change her mind?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/get-my-ex-back

Insane heart

 

5. Dear Grace, what should I do if I fell for someone who is not right for me?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/fell-for-the-wrong-person

love traffic lights

 

6. Dear Grace, my online friend will have to go through an arranged marriage after she graduates from University. I am concerned for her happiness. What should I do?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/arranged-marriage

arranged marriage

 

7. Dear Grace, how can I get over someone and accept that we have no future together?

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/no-future-together

Let go

 

8. Dear Grace, how can I get out of the friend zone? 

https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/get-out-of-the-friend-zone

friendzone gg

That’s all for now! Hope you enjoyed reading my responses! If you want to ask me something, feel free to email me at gchan7127@gmail.com.

7 signs she is interested in you

To my dear readers,

Long time no blog!! I haven’t forgotten you guys!! I’ve just been putting my translations as a priority. However, I made a promise to myself that I’ll try to experience and attempt more new things this year. One thing I’ve always told myself was to create youtube videos and learn how to edit.

Today, I am finally posting a video that I edited entirely on my own. I’m sorry for the awkward editing. -_-” I really did try my best. I have a terrible memory, so I had to keep looking down to remember my points. The original file had a lot of long pauses and “uh”…. I’ve already tried to cut it down as smoothly as I could.

I also noticed I move my head a lot. I need to learn how to remain still!

The video is less than 3 minutes but the editing took me hours (because I had no idea what I was doing). I made so many mistakes and kept deleting the wrong clips. At first, there was no audio playing in the background. Furthermore, I had no idea how to cut parts I didn’t want. Each time I tried to delete stuff, the whole file would delete. It drove me insane!! Ahhhhhhhh! I had to google and watch many videos on how to edit videos (which helped a lot since reading instructions only confused me haha).

 

Continue reading “7 signs she is interested in you”

I’m on a podcast again!

To my dear readers,

I’m on a podcast again!! Last year, I was on Episode 14 of my friends Jack and Gavin’s podcast! This time, I’m back again on Episode 53.

First, we started talking about how sad I was because Jack and Gavin will be leaving to teach abroad in a month or so. Jack will be leaving for Taiwan, while Gavin will be leaving for Japan.

Then, Gavin brought in his topic of “Graduation speech”. This topic was inspired by Jack because he had recently graduated from George Brown College. Gavin asked us if we felt like the graduation speeches were full of shit. For example: Oftentimes, the speaker will tell the graduates that they’re amazing and all of them will be able to achieve greatness. Is it true? Or are they just being overly optimistic? Gavin asked us what we would say if we were to make a graduation speech.

Jack’s topic was about his near-death experience earlier that day. He nearly got into a car accident as a car was running a red light horizontally while he was heading through a green light vertically. According to him, he was probably 2-3cm from getting hit and the guy’s tires were screeching. Jack shared the thoughts that were running through his mind right after the incident. Gavin and I also shared what we would have thought of as well. What do you think would be #1 on your mind if you were about to die?  Continue reading “I’m on a podcast again!”

Asking the right questions

To my dear readers,

If you can’t tell by now, the translator of “The Eunuch is Pregnant” is from theeunuch dot com. All the other sites have stolen my translations. Since they keep stealing my stuff, they might as well steal my blog posts too. I started off as a blogger anyway. Here’s a post I wrote a year ago. (Btw, I linked a video too, I wonder if the aggregators will upload that too?)

I am featured in a podcast with some of my friends from Faulty Logix! In the episode, I shared about why I started blogging, some of my most popular posts, some personal stories (including receiving an inappropriate pic once!) The guys and I also had a discussion about whether guys and girls can be purely friends. Feel free to listen! If you like what you hear, don’t forget to subscribe and follow them!

 

ask-the-right-questions

On another note, I want to tell you guys how to get close to someone. The key, is to ask the right questions. Oftentimes, the questions we ask or get asked are too surface level. Ex. “Hey, what’s new?” “How’s work?” These type of questions will usually only give you short and simple responses.

In order to really get to know someone, you have to dig deeper. Here are some deeper questions you could ask:

1. Who is your hero? What qualities make them your choice?
2. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy? Why?
3. What values are important to you?
4. What scares you? 
5. What makes you feel alive? 

These questions will definitely give you a much better idea of what the person is like because answering these questions require a lot more thought. The person actually has to think and be a bit vulnerable. Continue reading “Asking the right questions”

3 helpful dating tips for men (and women!)

helpful-tips

Hello, my dear readers!

This post is based on my own experiences and is biased. Please understand there isn’t something that will work for every single woman/man. My intention is to help you. These tips are for the initial stage when you’re trying to get her/him interested.

1. Ask for her advice 

Oftentimes, guys may notice someone they find attractive but do not know how to approach them without seeming creepy or desperate.

Well, I have the perfect solution for you! Go up to your “target” and ask for her opinion.

Women love to share their thoughts and give advice. Use this to your advantage. For example, you can go up to her and ask, “Hey. I’m debating between this *show her the item* and this *show her the other item*. I would like to get a woman’s opinion. Which would you choose and why?”

Unless you come off as a creep, chances are, she will stop and give you her opinion.

Once you get her talking, it is much easier to carry on the conversation. Notice her body language though. If she looks uncomfortable and wants to leave, don’t push it and just thank her for her time.

(A woman can do this too. It might seem rather bold, but I’m sure most men wouldn’t mind.)  Continue reading “3 helpful dating tips for men (and women!)”

Modern Romance: Too many choices

modern-romance-cover

Today, my post is going to be based off the book, “Modern Romance”. It is a research-based book that is written by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg. It is extremely interesting and insightful, so I highly recommend!!

Due to the advancement in our technology, it has evolved how we date. Today, we can access hundreds of singles with only a few clicks or swipes. It is honestly too easy. In our parents’ generation, if a guy wanted to ask a girl out, he would either have to call through the landline or do it in person. If we go back to before the invention of the telephone, people had no choice but to do everything in person.

Now, we don’t even need to put in effort anymore. Within minutes, people could message or spam hundreds of potentials. There are so many choices and dating sites/apps allow us to customize and filter what we want. 

Only Asians? Ok. Only women between 18-25? Ok. You get the point.

My friend downloaded a dating app and within a day, she received over 640 messages from men. Can you believe it? If the guys had to call her and start a conversation, how many do you think would actually go through with it?

In addition, my generation is so drawn to our phones that asking people out and/or breaking up with people over text is actually no longer surprising. In fact, research shows that most of the younger generation is ok with it.

So, we have lowered the amount of efforts required for both men and women. Furthermore, we expect more and want more than the previous generations. In the past, people got married because they needed to produce children in order to sustain their farmland. They needed children to do the labour. It was for survival and duty.

But today, we’re not satisfied with just anyone. Our standards have gone up. We want someone who makes us feel complete. We want someone who shares similar interests as us. We want someone who we can’t live without.

Not only that, dating is more complicated because there are unwritten rules that we all follow now. For instance:

Modern romance #3.jpg

But some may say, but Grace, isn’t it better we have choices now? We are no longer forced to marry our neighbours! That is a good thing.  Continue reading “Modern Romance: Too many choices”

How to tell if a shy girl likes you

Shy.jpg

Okay, this post is a somewhat continuation of my post from last week (The texting game). Honestly, there are only two things you really need to do in order to figure out whether a shy girl likes you or not.

1. Pay attention to the amount of effort she is putting in

This might sound like common sense, but hear me out.

Shy girls do not tend to be very direct. They’re most likely never going to tell you they like you or flirt (either they don’t know how or they prefer not to). Therefore, some people might be wondering, “Does she like me? Or does she only want to be my friend?”

Here are some things that could potentially mean she likes you:

-She goes out of her way to message you when it is not necessary.
-She is open to hanging out with you one on one.
-She tries to carry on the conversation.
-She makes an effort to look nice when she is meeting up with you.
-She likes to joke around with you.

However, even if the girl does all of the above, it doesn’t mean she likes you for sure. To find out, you need to do #2. Continue reading “How to tell if a shy girl likes you”

The texting game

mind-games

In today’s world, technology has really changed how relationships work. People no longer have to make direct phone calls or go to the person’s house in order to make plans. Nowadays, the majority of the people text.

Therefore, if you suck at texting, you’re in trouble.

I’m going to share a real story with you guys. It was a conversation between me and my friend. She had recently downloaded a lot of dating apps and was trying them out. She matched with a few guys and immediately messaged them.

Me: You messaged him? You should probably have waited for him to initiate a conversation!

Friend: Why? If we matched, what’s the point if we don’t talk to each other?

Me: True…but it’s already so easy for the guys. They can swipe hundreds of people in a matter of minutes. Plus, it only takes a few seconds to start a conversation. If he doesn’t even need to start a conversation, he might not value you. What did you say?

Friend: I said, “Hi, Joseph.”

Me: SO FORMAL!?!?! Omg, if you’re going to say something. You should make a comment about his profile or picture or something. Or tell a joke. It would be more interesting!?!

Friend: Why do I have to purposely change myself?

Me: Okay okay. Do whatever you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Most of the time, people might be playing the texting game.

Friend: What’s the texting game? Why do we have to play games? I just want to get straight to the point. Don’t waste my time.  Continue reading “The texting game”