My mini autobiography

Several days ago, I turned 32 and I feel like it’s time for another reflective post.

I have the tendency to think a lot; about my past, present and future. I think about my past mistakes, the choices I’ve made, and what I look forward to. I think about my dreams, goals, and purpose.

I think about why I do what I do, and why I am the way I am.

I think about how I can achieve what I want, faster.

I think about how I can make a lasting, positive impact.

I want to do so much.

It may sound crazy, but I want to be a legacy.

You may ask, how? By doing what?

I think, by using my words to impact others.

I want you to feel better, happier, more empowered after reading my blog posts and translations.

I want to share my experience and advice, and you to benefit from it. Knowing that I have the power to change someone’s behaviour makes me feel good.

I’ve come to realize that I need to live a life with meaning to be happy. For the first 23 years of my life, I basically followed exactly what my father had wanted me to do.

As a child, my only goal was to get good grades so I could get into university and then get a good, stable job.

I needed good grades. I was a “good” student, but at the same time, I wasn’t. I mean, I showed up to class and did all my homework. I tried to study and do well, but half the time I was daydreaming because it was so damn boring.

I tried to retain as much as I could, but I’m just not very academic. At least, it’s not easy for me. I have a slow brain, so it takes me a long time to understand something.

I had friends who could seamlessly get 90s without trying, while here I was, working hard and struggling to get an 80. So sad.

I knew school wasn’t really for me, but I still tried. In fact, I even got an award for perfect attendance. LOL, so lame. Who gives an award for that??? Continue reading “My mini autobiography”

My 6 dates with 6 guys on Hinge

Me posing with treesI debated a long time whether I should write this post. This is a continuation of my previous post, “My dating experience on Hinge.” If you haven’t read that yet, you should read it first before proceeding.

Everything I’m about to say were my honest thoughts –what I was thinking at the time, and how I felt about it.

Disclaimer: While I was chatting with all of them simultaneously, by no means was I trying to “play around” with other people’s emotions. I genuinely spent a lot of time trying to get to know each of them.

To keep them anonymous, I’m going to call the guys: A, B, C, D, E, and F. They’re in the order that I met them in.

I started talking to A because he read my blog. Because of his comment to one of my prompts, I knew he took the time to read my post. At the time, my latest post was 30,000 days, and it was about how most people only have 30,000 days on Earth.

Personally, if a guy actually takes the time to read my blog, I’m almost guaranteed to respond and chat. I really like how they would take the time to try to get to know me beyond the physical aspect.

Anyhow, I soon found out A was intense. This guy likes doing so many physical activities. At the time, he was training daily for a marathon.

Since we spoke in September of last year, my memory is a bit rusty. I think he was preparing for a 22km run in Montreal.

He mentioned about going for runs together, and I was like.. uh.. ok you run the first 20km and I’ll join for the last 2km. AHAHAHAHA.

A gave me the impression that he was really nice, independent, more of a listener type, hardcore, and kind of quiet.

I found out he was from Mauritius and he actually spoke French very fluently. Now, I’m someone who really likes languages and French is a very sexy language. *sigh* The French accent is so hot.

As a Canadian, French is actually one of our national languages. Sadly, despite the mandatory classes from Grade 4-9, I can’t communicate in French at all. I only know very basic vocabulary. I can’t even ask a question properly because I don’t know how the grammar structure work. *cries*

Ok, back on topic.

I really admire people who can do things that I can’t do. During our date, I tried to get A to teach me some French and roll the R (but I still fail). I had a list, and he helped me, but I can’t remember jack shit (please excuse my language). I feel like I really need someone to speak to me or be exposed in that environment in order to learn. Sigh.

A and I lived very very far apart from each other. So we decided to meet halfway, and met at Yonge and Finch.

We met at a café and I thought it was kind of cute how he had a hat on. I think he was trying to hide his hair or something (either it was too long or too messy?).

He was actually a lot more quiet in person than online. I wasn’t sure whether he was shy or he just didn’t want to talk too much.

But as a person who talks a lot, it didn’t bother me. AHAHAHAHA. We had a nice conversation and soon, it was dinner time.

I didn’t want to force A to eat with me, so I gave him the opportunity to leave. I said, “Do you need to go home? I know you have to wake up early for work.” (I always give guys a chance to leave if they want to. I know some people just stay for the sake of being polite.)

A had his chance to leave but decided to stay out, so we went somewhere nearby and had Korean food.

A’s family is in Montreal, and he mentioned driving there often to see them. It was pretty crazy because eventually I found out we have a mutual friend/acquaintance. Apparently, someone I know (a friend of a friend) was his neighbour back in Mauritius! What a small world.

Omg, this is getting too long. I’m not going to go into too many details. Anyway, we had a nice dinner. By the time we left, it was already 10 something. We met up around 6?? I am assuming he enjoyed it, or he would’ve left sooner than later. He had to wake up at 6:30am for work on a daily basis. *cries for A* Continue reading “My 6 dates with 6 guys on Hinge”

Man’s search for meaning

Man's search for meaning

This book was one of the toughest books I’ve ever read. It is about a psychiatrist’s horrific experience in Nazi death camps. When I envisioned what he had gone through, I literally felt sick to my stomach. I wondered what I would’ve done in his place.

Would I have had the will to live? How could I go on if I feel like the suffering will never end?

This post is not a book summary. I just want to share a few notable quotes that caught my attention and add my views on it.

 

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

You either learn to adapt or give up…there’s really no other option.

 

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

We all need that purpose or ‘why’ to keep going. Your ‘why’ may differ from mine. But without a reason, there’s no meaning. Without meaning, there’s no point. What gives your life meaning?

  Continue reading “Man’s search for meaning”

My dating experience on Hinge

Disclaimer: This is from my own personal experience and may or may not reflect the experiences of others. I started using Hinge from August 30th until around mid Oct of 2019.

PROFILE

You can sign up an account using only your phone number. Hinge allows you to choose/upload 6 photos of yourself. It took me a while to choose 6 haha. My friends next to me were so impatient.

  • I picked a selfie with my friend (but I covered her face in case it was confusing).
  • I had another full body image of myself so people would have an idea of my physical size (This was the most popular photo. I got the most hearts from this one).
  • There was a photo of me sitting with a bubble tea in my hand
  • I had another picture of myself as Baby Grace from the snapchat filter
  • There was also another photo of me and my brother in the museum of illusions. I was posing in awesome manner (upside down) while he was just standing straight and being boring
  • I also included another group photo of me and my friends failing in an escape room T_T (I WANNA ESCAPE YOOOOO)

I had to choose 3 prompts for Hinge. Prompts are used as conversation starters. The guy/girl may comment on your prompt. However, they cannot have a conversation with you unless you accept/allow them to.

Here were my prompts:

I’m the type of texter who
loves puns. I love English puns, Chinese puns. As long as they are punny, go for it. XD

Together we can…
compose a song together! I loveeee music!!!

The secret to getting to know me is
read my blog. liveandlearn88.com

I like my prompts because I think it makes me more unique and it reflects me well. I didn’t want to be the typical “I like to eat, travel, and sleep” LOL (no offense if that’s what you like).

If you are confused and needs some help using Hinge, visit https://hingeapp.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/categories/360001659533-Getting-Started for more information

 

MY EXPERIENCE

I’m told that guys on Hinge get to swipe approximately 5 people a day if they are a regular user. (I’m not sure if it’s the same for females).

Personally, I didn’t actually click like on anyone’s profiles. I only commented on one profile because I wanted to know what a dank meme was.

I didn’t actually have to initiate anything with anyone because I was getting likes every few minutes on the first day I created my profile. At first, I was open to all. But I had to make it super difficult because there were too many people and some guys were so old, they could be my dad. For instance, one guy was 64… uh…

As a result, I made it much harder for people to discover me since I put a deal breaker on age, no one with kids already, no drugs, and etc.

Hinge made me a preferred member for a month because they wanted to encourage me to use the app more. When you’re a preferred member, you can see everyone that has liked/commented on your profile. Otherwise, you would have to accept or reject one at a time before you can view the next person’s profile.

As a preferred member, you also get preferred preferences and you can customize it even more to fit what you are looking for.

 

LUCK

The reason why I have to filter so hard is because there are just too many people. I cannot talk to everyone. Basically, I accepted those who read my blog LOL (I can tell based on their comments) and if they are into music.

There are definitely a lot of guys with potential, but I have limited time and energy. I can only focus on so many before I lose track of the names and get them all mixed up. I cannot talk to a hundred people. I know that a hundred likes doesn’t necessarily mean a hundred options. However, if I accepted and they messaged me, I didn’t want to ignore them. Hence, I just let them pile up.

So as you can tell, online dating has a lot to do with luck too.

  1. Both you and your match have to be using it during the same time span.
  2. The age range is also a huge factor. I had just turned 31 around two weeks after I created my profile. One of my matches told me his cut off was 30. So technically, if I had started using the app in the middle of Sept, I wouldn’t even have popped up in his feed and we wouldn’t have spoken.
  3. Aside from one other person, I only spoke with those who have messaged me within the first 2-3 days that I was using the app. So it’s almost like first come first serve (Sorry if that sounds bad).

  Continue reading “My dating experience on Hinge”

30,000 days

To my dear readers,

It has been a long time since my last blog post. Sorry! I am so busy nowadays. T_T. I need a lot of inspiration in order to write. Anyhow, I would like to share a real story with you. Hopefully, it will touch you in some ways.


 

A few weeks ago, I found out A tried to commit suicide because he was suffering too much. A was in constant physical pain and couldn’t take it anymore.

I found out because A went missing on a mutual server we shared. Everyone was worried about him and wanted me to find out whether he was ok or not. (I had met A in real life once so I had his number).

When I called, A picked up and sounded really emotional. I was bewildered and wanted to know what happened. However, he didn’t go into details. All he said was that he was in the hospital and that it may take him 2 months before he’d be back.

Since it was obvious A didn’t want to talk, we hung up and I told the boys that he was at the hospital. All of us were really worried because we didn’t know why A had to stay there for so long. Usually, Canadian hospitals would try to kick you out as quickly as possible.

Was he terminally ill? Did he get into a huge accident? There were so many unanswered questions going through our minds. Continue reading “30,000 days”

The Magic of Thinking Big

The magic of thinking bigTo my dear readers,

Long time no blog! Sorry, I am really lazy and uninspired. T_T. There are times when I do want to write something, but my lack of willpower results in no action.

However, today, I am very inspired by this book, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz. I read this book at a bookstore and took some notes on my phone. I would like to share it with you guys today. Please take some time to reflect on the questions. You don’t have to tell me the answers. You can just answer them in your mind.

Note: The bold words are from the book itself.

Persons with mediocre accomplishments are quick to explain why they haven’t, why they don’t, why they can’t, and why they aren’t.

Which type are you?

Most of us make two basic errors with respect to intelligence: 

  1. We underestimate our own brainpower
  2. We overestimate the other fellow’s brainpower 

Don’t underestimate yourself. You can always do more; be more. 

See what can be, not just what is. 

What can you see? 

The price tag the world puts on us is just about identical to the one we put on ourselves. 

How much do you think you’re worth? 

Eliminate the word impossible from your thinking and speaking vocabularies. Impossible is a failure word. 

If you’ve already made up your mind that it is impossible, you’ll never take the necessary action to get what you want.  Continue reading “The Magic of Thinking Big”

3 helpful dating tips for men (and women!)

helpful-tips

Hello, my dear readers!

This post is based on my own experiences and is biased. Please understand there isn’t something that will work for every single woman/man. My intention is to help you. These tips are for the initial stage when you’re trying to get her/him interested.

1. Ask for her advice 

Oftentimes, guys may notice someone they find attractive but do not know how to approach them without seeming creepy or desperate.

Well, I have the perfect solution for you! Go up to your “target” and ask for her opinion.

Women love to share their thoughts and give advice. Use this to your advantage. For example, you can go up to her and ask, “Hey. I’m debating between this *show her the item* and this *show her the other item*. I would like to get a woman’s opinion. Which would you choose and why?”

Unless you come off as a creep, chances are, she will stop and give you her opinion.

Once you get her talking, it is much easier to carry on the conversation. Notice her body language though. If she looks uncomfortable and wants to leave, don’t push it and just thank her for her time.

(A woman can do this too. It might seem rather bold, but I’m sure most men wouldn’t mind.)  Continue reading “3 helpful dating tips for men (and women!)”