I debated a long time whether I should write this post. This is a continuation of my previous post, “My dating experience on Hinge.” If you haven’t read that yet, you should read it first before proceeding.
Everything I’m about to say were my honest thoughts –what I was thinking at the time, and how I felt about it.
Disclaimer: While I was chatting with all of them simultaneously, by no means was I trying to “play around” with other people’s emotions. I genuinely spent a lot of time trying to get to know each of them.
To keep them anonymous, I’m going to call the guys: A, B, C, D, E, and F. They’re in the order that I met them in.
I started talking to A because he read my blog. Because of his comment to one of my prompts, I knew he took the time to read my post. At the time, my latest post was 30,000 days, and it was about how most people only have 30,000 days on Earth.
Personally, if a guy actually takes the time to read my blog, I’m almost guaranteed to respond and chat. I really like how they would take the time to try to get to know me beyond the physical aspect.
Anyhow, I soon found out A was intense. This guy likes doing so many physical activities. At the time, he was training daily for a marathon.
Since we spoke in September of last year, my memory is a bit rusty. I think he was preparing for a 22km run in Montreal.
He mentioned about going for runs together, and I was like.. uh.. ok you run the first 20km and I’ll join for the last 2km. AHAHAHAHA.
A gave me the impression that he was really nice, independent, more of a listener type, hardcore, and kind of quiet.
I found out he was from Mauritius and he actually spoke French very fluently. Now, I’m someone who really likes languages and French is a very sexy language. *sigh* The French accent is so hot.
As a Canadian, French is actually one of our national languages. Sadly, despite the mandatory classes from Grade 4-9, I can’t communicate in French at all. I only know very basic vocabulary. I can’t even ask a question properly because I don’t know how the grammar structure work. *cries*
Ok, back on topic.
I really admire people who can do things that I can’t do. During our date, I tried to get A to teach me some French and roll the R (but I still fail). I had a list, and he helped me, but I can’t remember jack shit (please excuse my language). I feel like I really need someone to speak to me or be exposed in that environment in order to learn. Sigh.
A and I lived very very far apart from each other. So we decided to meet halfway, and met at Yonge and Finch.
We met at a café and I thought it was kind of cute how he had a hat on. I think he was trying to hide his hair or something (either it was too long or too messy?).
He was actually a lot more quiet in person than online. I wasn’t sure whether he was shy or he just didn’t want to talk too much.
But as a person who talks a lot, it didn’t bother me. AHAHAHAHA. We had a nice conversation and soon, it was dinner time.
I didn’t want to force A to eat with me, so I gave him the opportunity to leave. I said, “Do you need to go home? I know you have to wake up early for work.” (I always give guys a chance to leave if they want to. I know some people just stay for the sake of being polite.)
A had his chance to leave but decided to stay out, so we went somewhere nearby and had Korean food.
A’s family is in Montreal, and he mentioned driving there often to see them. It was pretty crazy because eventually I found out we have a mutual friend/acquaintance. Apparently, someone I know (a friend of a friend) was his neighbour back in Mauritius! What a small world.
Omg, this is getting too long. I’m not going to go into too many details. Anyway, we had a nice dinner. By the time we left, it was already 10 something. We met up around 6?? I am assuming he enjoyed it, or he would’ve left sooner than later. He had to wake up at 6:30am for work on a daily basis. *cries for A*
Now, onto B.
I also connected with B because he read my blog. He also made a comment about my post, and I thought, “Oh! This guy took the time to read my blog! I’m going to talk to him!”
B gave me the impression he was a hardcore snowboarder. I think all his pictures were snowboard related.
I remember talking to him, but he would take days to respond. Sometimes, he would respond and write a lot, but then, he would disappear for days. I was going to stop talking to him, but at one point, he started replying at a much faster frequency.
Eventually, we started chatting a lot more. B was going to go to Japan, but we decided to meet up before his trip.
We met up at a board game café that I hadn’t been to in years. I’m not someone who loves board games, but I don’t mind it from time to time. It can be pretty fun.
When I arrived, B was already waiting for me with the games prepared on the table. I thought, “Damn, this guy is hardcore!”
He said he watched several videos on youtube of some two player games. I thought, “Wow, he is so prepared.” Haha.
I actually wanted to play games that didn’t require using brain cells, because I’m so lazy. I suggested Jenga, but he said it’s too noisy (that’s true). I wanted to play Connect 4 (because I’m really good at it). Sadly, Connect 4 was taken by other players and I couldn’t get my hands on it. I also didn’t mind playing Scrabbles but I think B thought it was too boring. -_-“
Anyway, we played some strategy games and it required SO MUCH BRAIN CELLS. I have a slow brain, so it took me a while to understand how to play. But it was fun.
At first, we were sitting across from each other. However, watching a game on youtube and playing it is completely different. B had only watched the games on youtube but hadn’t actually played it himself, so we had to keep reading the instructions.
It was really hard to read the instructions sitting across from each other, so B went to sit next to me.
We ended up playing board games side by side.
By the time we left, it was almost 11…. We spent 6 hours at the board game café.
I couldn’t believe it. My brain felt like it was fried. Haha. I was wondering if B had just wanted to play board games or if he actually wanted to get to know me. HAHA.
I didn’t ask him too many questions about himself, because we were busy trying to destroy each other.
I am not super competitive, but I didn’t want to die a pitiful death. Even if I’m going to lose, I wasn’t going to lose that badly. I had to try to win, you know?
Anyway, occasionally, I did ask B a few questions. I found out we were both Cantonese.
I tried to test him and spoke in Canto, but he was like, “This is weird. I only speak Cantonese to the older generation.” 😛
Eventually, I found out his comprehension is pretty decent. I think he can speak pretty well, but just didn’t feel comfortable.
Personally, it doesn’t matter to me whether a guy can speak Cantonese or Mandarin. It’s a nice-to-have, but not a deal breaker. After all, I live in Canada and grew up here most of my life.
It’s nice if I can make jokes and puns in Chinese, but English is what’s important. The guy has to speak English. Otherwise, I cannot handle it.
However, I know my parents would want me to date someone Chinese. Not only that, I know they would prefer someone who is fluent in Cantonese, as it is my mother tongue.
But most of the guys I know who grew up here can barely have a conversation in Cantonese. Those who are fluent in Chinese usually have terrible English. If I had to choose, I would rather have poor Chinese and great English than great Chinese and terrible English. I don’t want to be translating things!
Anyway, back on topic. OMG I’m never going to finish at this rate.
I felt bad for B because he had to travel home by GO-Train and he lived over an hour away. Although, it also took me nearly an hour to get home because TTC sucks!!
B gave me the impression he was very observant, overthinks a lot, slow to warm up, independent, and somewhat competitive. I think he is super hardcore because this guy works out every day!!!! (He has a gym in his basement or something).
It takes a lot of dedication and consistency to work on a daily basis!
I think it’s attractive when a guy works hard and is consistent with whatever they want to achieve.
Ok, we are onto C now!
Out of the six guys, C was the most demanding. He didn’t like how I didn’t talk to him much (or gave him enough attention?) and made it very clear.
I started talking to C because he made a comment on one of my prompts and asked me what a Chinese pun was.
I asked him if he understood Cantonese. He responded that he knew a bit, but failed to understand my pun. LOL
(Anyway, it turns out his Cantonese is very poor. He probably has the vocabulary of a 2 year old). Ahaha
He had a short 2 second clip of himself and some dough. But I had no idea what he was doing, so I asked him what he was making.
He said he thought it was obvious that he was making a pizza. For me, the only thing that was obvious were his muscles. They were popping out!! I thought he put that clip to show off. AHAHAHAHA
Anyway, C wanted to meet up almost immediately. But I don’t really meet anyone unless I have spoken to them for at least two weeks.
To me, if a guy can’t even talk to me for 2 weeks, then there’s no point. C, however, thought it was a waste of time talking online. He believed that online and in person were very different things. Someone you connect with online may be completely different in person.
I did agree, but I still didn’t meet up with him until two weeks later. LOL (because I’m busy, okay!!?!?!)
C and I met up at Spadina and Dundas. I think he lived somewhat nearby, and Chinatown wasn’t relatively far for me either.
We went to a dessert place and shared a bingsu together. He didn’t want to eat the whole thing, and asked if we could share.
After that, we walked around and explored OCAD outside. All of a sudden, it started raining and we had to run into a building for cover.
While we were inside the building, C asked me why I was so reluctant to meet and why I talk to him some little. (-_-). I told him I didn’t want to get so attached to someone online, and that in the past, I was too attached and I just didn’t want to be like that again.
I told him, “Imagine if you spoke to this person several hours a day. Then, one day, she stops messaging you or the conversation just doesn’t go anywhere anymore. How would you feel? If we stop talking, it wouldn’t really bother you since we didn’t talk that much!”
I told him I didn’t want either one of us to suffer from attachment issues. I told him that it’s much easier if you’re unattached.
Anyway, C understood but he was still unhappy.
At this point, I was like, “Wow, your eyes are green/brown! YOU LOOK LIKE WOLVERINE!” AHHAHAHAAH. (Yeah, I actually said that).
It was cool how C had eyes that changed colours depending on the lighting. When we were about to leave, I figured he wouldn’t want to see me again. But surprisingly, he actually asked me if we could meet up again.
None of the guys I had ever gone on a date with would ask me that right after the date, face to face.
I think most of the time, you kind of figure out whether the person is interested or not based on whether he/she still tries to talk to you after the date.
Since it wasn’t like I was totally not into him, I didn’t decline. But I didn’t think we were compatible.
What really stood out to me was that he lost a hundred pounds (by the time we met up, he was already super fit). That seemed very hardcore. I asked him how he did it, but he didn’t really share. He just said he exercised.
I guess I find that relentlessness to achieve a goal very attractive. Personally, I am also the hardcore type in that aspect. If I want to do something, I would do it even if I have to crawl to get there. But C gave me the feeling he was a very dominant type of guy. I feel like I would have to be very feminine or play a much passive role to please him. He seemed like a strong, aggressive, confident and very manly type. I think he’s the type I would like in dramas, but I’m not sure about real life.
We’re on D now, and I’ve already written over 2500 words. -_-
I started talking to D because he made a comment on one of my prompts. He said we could create music together.
D was the only one that travelled to me. It was nice, because I didn’t have to travel. AHAHAHAHAHA.
We first met up at the Starbucks at Lakeshore and Leslie. Apparently, he used to work at the same plaza years ago.
D actually spoke four languages, which I found to be very impressive. But since I couldn’t speak the other three languages, I couldn’t test him.
D fixed airplanes and I found that to be pretty cool. It seemed like a job that required a lot of skills. If he messes up, then so many lives would perish!
D told me the people into the arts were very different from the technical people he worked with. I think he wanted to pursue music, but working for a big airline was a much more secure option.
We talked about growing up and I think he went through quite a lot as a child. He went through a variety of jobs and gained lots of life experiences despite being quite young.
I found out he read some of my posts on Grace Time and it made me happy. Hehe. I like it when people take the time to read my posts.
We ended up having sushi for dinner and went to a bar afterwards. It was just several buildings away, so all three locations were within 10 minute walk of each other.
I don’t drink much anymore, so I only had two drinks the entire night. I think D drank like 5 or 6?!! I was thinking, “OMG it’s so expensive!! Ahhhhh!!!”
It was very interesting talking to D. He taught me some chord stuff related to music and he gave me the growth vibe.
He seemed like someone who liked to see the world (literally and figuratively). In fact, he was going to Japan just for a few days. I thought it was nuts, but since he worked for an airline, his fare was much lower than a regular person’s.
I think he could travel monthly if he wished to. It seemed like a very good work perk.
D seemed like a very open minded type that was willing to go beyond his comfort zone. He was pretty good at expressing himself, but it might just be the artistic side of him.
On the downside, he was a smoker. He went out for a smoke break several times. Personally, I prefer someone who is a non-smoker.
I guess that’s something to think about. If that is his lifestyle and he enjoys it, what makes me think I have the right to change it? Some people just like living the way they do.
Anyway, I had a very good time and I think D did as well. Otherwise, he would’ve left a lot sooner :P.
I’m already at 3000 words and I still have to go through E and F. -_-
E commented on my prompt. He asked, “Did you write the blog?”
To which, I responded, “Of course! Why would I promote someone else’s website on my dating profile!?!?!”
E mentioned he was a fan, and that’s how we started talking. HAHA. (As you can tell, the key to talking to me is to read my blog. No lie). LOL
E and I only exchanged one message a day. But I would write a lot. It was almost like exchanging letters with a pen pal.
I think by this point, I was already done with meeting up. I had already met 4 of the guys, and I just wanted to stop. It was too tiring and required too much effort.
But E was super patient with me. Instead of pressuring me, he said stuff like, “When you’re ready to meet, I’m sure we’ll have a good time.”
Sigh. It made me feel bad. So I eventually decided to meet him.
By the time we met up, we had already been talking for a month. We met up at the Eaton Centre. He was already there and noticed me before I found him. We ended up walking to Spadina and had noodles for dinner.
E was quite chubby and gave me a very warm vibe. I felt like he was a very sweet and caring person.
I found out he was very into Japanese and K-pop. In fact, he actually knew how to speak and read some Japanese!
Personally, I don’t know much about Japanese and Korean stuff. I used to watch some dramas, but that was almost a decade ago. Most of the shows I watch nowadays are all in Mandarin.
Although we had different interests, I still found it interesting talking to him. Eventually, we went for bubble tea.
For those who don’t know, I LOVEEE bubble tea. I like the original 50% sugar and ice. We went to Coco and I asked him about his experience on the dating app and how he chooses his “target”.
He showed me his process and it was very intriguing. I liked how he actually read the profiles but he was soooooo shallow at times.
I guess that’s the tough part about dating apps. People instantly judge you based on your looks. You may have the best personality, but the person may not try to get to know you if he/she isn’t attracted at first glance.
Anyway, at this point, I asked him if he cared about height. He said, “Nah.”
So I was like, “Really? But the app sets the height to anywhere between 3-7 feet!”
He replied, “There’s no way I’ll see anyone under 4 feet.”
Funny enough, the next girl he came across on the app was 3 feet 10 inches or something! AHHAHAHAH. It was HILARIOUS.
Anyway, we joked around a lot and had a good time. I really liked talking to him, and thought it was rather sad if we never saw each other again.
NOTE: I enjoyed all my dates with the guys I had seen so far. So it wasn’t like I wouldn’t want to see any of them again.
Ok, I’m moving onto F. I’m trying to keep it short because I don’t want my post to go beyond 4200 words.
F and I started talking because he made a pun when I mentioned I enjoyed puns in Chinese or English in one of my prompts.
I can’t remember his exact pun now, because it’s been too long. But it was ok.
F really wanted to meet up, but by now, I was REALLYYYYY done with the app. I was tired and sick of meeting up. I had already met up with 5 guys and I didn’t want to see anyone else.
So to be honest, guys who I meet up with first usually have the advantage. That’s when I have the most energy.
Anyway, F was persistent and waited a month, so I decided to meet up in the end.
F wanted to go to a wine bar. Personally, I would’ve preferred something like coffee or bubble tea. BUT since he waited a month to meet me, I just went along with what he wanted.
When I got there, I thought to myself, “Holy shit! This place is so expensive!”
The service was great, but I didn’t want to pay $18 for a glass of wine! That wasn’t even including tax and tips!
Anyway, regardless of who pays, it still hurts the wallet. As you can tell, I am a very cheap person. Haha.
Anyway, F gave me the impression he was a super successful entrepreneur. He often flew to the states for meetings. I think he goes to the states on a monthly basis (or was it a weekly basis?)
He seemed to have very expensive taste.
Our conversations were quite intellectual. I felt like I could learn a lot from him. At the same time, I felt like our lifestyles were too different.
By the way, out of the six guys, F was the one who “touched” me the most. Now, he wasn’t molesting me or anything, but he would place his hand on my waist and rest it there for a second or two. It was definitely intentional.
I felt like he would’ve gone further if I had given him any indication that I wanted more.
I’m not sure if this is a culture thing, as he is Caucasian. Based on my previous experiences, Caucasians have the most guts and are the most forward. He’s apparently fluent in Greek.
Anyway, it wasn’t a bad date or anything. But I was pretty done with meeting guys.
I think I was just so burnt out from meeting and chatting with guys. I wouldn’t suggest talking to more than three people at the same time. It is too time consuming and stressful.
I personally found all of them to be interesting and was open to seeing them again. My friends were like, “Don’t you have standards? How can you want to see them all again?”
I said, “I mean, I don’t mind. But I’m so tired…it’s so much work.”
Another thing to mention, there is so much competition online.
You have no idea how many other girls/guys they may be talking to as well. Imagine if there are new options showing up on a daily basis.
Some of my friends were envious and asked me why my dates were so much “better” than what they have experienced on their dates.
I’m not sure. But I knew all of them at least made some effort. My dates were on average 3-6 hours long.
They could’ve left sooner if they wanted to, so I can only assume they had fun too.
Perhaps they made more effort because I took the time to really get to know them? I would kind of figure out their routine and know what they would be doing. Ex. I know so and so gets off work at this time, works out at this time, eats at this time, and etc.
I think it’s important to actually care, but some may think it’s a waste of time because online people are so flakey.
Personally, I just want to make the time worthwhile. If they spent weeks talking to me and want to meet up, I want our date to be meaningful and fun.
I want to be someone unforgettable. Haha.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading. Don’t ask me for a Part 3. It’s too much work!
If you’re someone reading this because you are debating whether you should use a dating app, I think you should try it. You never know who you’ll meet. Several of my friends found their significant others online and are now happily married.
Do it for at least two weeks before you quit. Good luck!