30,000 days

To my dear readers,

It has been a long time since my last blog post. Sorry! I am so busy nowadays. T_T. I need a lot of inspiration in order to write. Anyhow, I would like to share a real story with you. Hopefully, it will touch you in some ways.

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A few weeks ago, I found out A tried to commit suicide because he was suffering too much. A was in constant physical pain and couldn’t take it anymore.

I found out because A went missing on a mutual server we shared. Everyone was worried about him and wanted me to find out whether he was ok or not. (I had met A in real life once so I had his number).

When I called, A picked up and sounded really emotional. I was bewildered and wanted to know what happened. However, he didn’t go into details. All he said was that he was in the hospital and that it may take him 2 months before he’d be back.

Since it was obvious A didn’t want to talk, we hung up and I told the boys that he was at the hospital. All of us were really worried because we didn’t know why A had to stay there for so long. Usually, Canadian hospitals would try to kick you out as quickly as possible.

Was he terminally ill? Did he get into a huge accident? There were so many unanswered questions going through our minds.

Eventually, we texted back and forth and I found out that A “broke” from the pain. I offered to visit but he didn’t want any visitors.

The electro convulsive therapy A had been going through was causing him to lose a lot of memory. My friend couldn’t even remember how he got to the hospital. But he told me when he saw my name flash on his phone, memories came back in waves and he instantly remembered me and most people from the discord server.

In a way, I felt honoured I was “the key to his memory”. But at the same time, I was so sad. I almost lost a friend to suicide.

While I was going through my own acupuncture treatment, my doctor asked me if I had been stressed lately. I told her, “Yes, my friend wanted to kill himself and it made me so sad to hear about it. I’m worried about him but he won’t let anyone visit or see him. I don’t know the degree of harm he had inflicted upon himself but he has to remain in the hospital for 2 months.”

My doctor murmured, “Life is so short. We need to cherish everyday. You know, we only have around 30,000 days.”

I was stunned, “What? Really? That’s it?”

“Yeah, think about it. There are only 365 days in a year. If you live to 100, that’s 36,500 days. Most people aren’t going to live to 100. So 30,000 is probably the average.”

This realization slapped me across the face. I never thought about it that way. Time is ticking and there’s no guarantee how much we have left!

We have to make use of everyday! So do something today that’ll make you happier now! Go go go go!

Sometimes, people may have a tendency to live in the past. If only…

But the past is gone. There is no point in dwelling what could’ve or should’ve happened.

Some of us also live in the future. One day, I will…

How about we change that to, Today, I will…!

Live today.

P.S. Since then, A has been released from the hospital. Hopefully, I will be able to see him in person soon. This is a reminder that people may appear to be ok on the outside, but broken on the inside.