5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship

toxic relationship

This week’s relationship topic is brought to you by my Moo Moo! You can visit her blog here.

5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship

1. You are always experiencing negative emotions. Ex. You feel like you’re never good enough. Or perhaps, he/she doesn’t care about you or your feelings, constantly comparing you with other people, disrespecting you, etc.

2. You are constantly giving, and not receiving anything back. A healthy relationship requires both parties to put in effort, thought and time. If only one of you is doing all the work, then you need to seriously have a talk about it.

3. He/she tries to control you (who you see, who you talk to, your choices, your money, and etc). Obviously in a relationship, compromises are needed. However, if you need his/her permission to do things, then that’s not right.

Continue reading “5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship”

Zui Wu Dao. Vol 2 -Chapter 45.

To my dear readers,

I’m so sorry for the delay. I have been in a lot of physical pain lately, and it has been stopping me from doing many things (including translating). Please be patient with me. If I disappear for a bit, it’s not because I have stopped translating, but due to personal reasons.

Anyhow, this chapter is good but so difficult to translate. It is definitely not 100%. Probably 85%

Here is my promoted post: The Virtual World

Here is the chapter in Chinese

Please donate to me if you can. ❤

Chapter 45     Came at them

“This is Shen Tui Men’s headquarter.” Dong Fang Xin pointed straight at a building.

Xuan Luo looked ahead and deeply murmured, “Shen Tui Men really knows how to pick their location.”

This mountain god temple was located very close to Qian Deng Zhen. Perhaps Shen Tui Men was quite superstitious, therefore they chose this location as a foundation to their influential power. However, this mountain god temple looked very worn down. If a random person glanced at it, he/she would probably assume it was an abandoned temple. Little did they know that it was a place where Shen Tui Men committed crime.

But compared to other places, this piece of land was very good. In fact, the construction of this building relied on the mountain; as if it was embedded in the mountain. Hence, it was very difficult to attack and easy to protect.

Subconsciously, Xuan Luo’s eyes grew hard. This was the first time he had experienced something like this. Continue reading “Zui Wu Dao. Vol 2 -Chapter 45.”

From the bottom to the top

started from the bottom.jpg

This post is a collaboration post I did with my friend, Alex. Instead of always talking about my own opinions from my own perspectives, I thought it would be interesting asking someone else. In the past, Alex and I would have very meaningful and deep conversations over coffee. Although he currently resides in Thailand, the internet has made it easy for us to stay in touch. I really like his answers, and hope you will as well.

Me: Alex, I want to write a post in regards to confidence because I think it is so crucial if you want to succeed in anything. Tell me, what does confidence mean to you? 

Alex: I think confidence is being fully comfortable with yourself as a person. Being comfortable with all of your flaws and insecurities and not being afraid to show them. Caring less about what others think and doing what makes you happy instead.

Me: How would you define it?

Alex: Being 100% your true self and not being afraid to express it wherever you are.

Me: I like that!! Everyone’s definition is probably different. To me, confidence is knowing that you’re capable of succeeding if you put in the work. Was there a person who has contributed to your confidence? If so, what did that person do or say to build up your self-esteem and feeling of self-worth?

Alex: One of my good friends living in Korea. He has this never-ending drive to improve himself and I just really admired his determination. Whether it was mastering Korean, starting a business or getting a better job, he made it happen. No matter what. Seeing his drive for being the best motivated me to be the best I could be as well.

Continue reading “From the bottom to the top”

Should guys pay for the first date?

heart tic tac toe

This is another topic that will probably spark a lot of debate. I’ve asked some of my friends before and here are some of their opinions:

What the guys say

“No. It’s unfair. Women want to be treated equally. So why do I have to pay for the date? We can split 50/50. It’s unfair how we men are expected to always pay.”

“Yes, because if I don’t…I won’t get a second date. Game over yo.”

“No. I would never pay for the first couple of dates. That’s spoiling her. What if she expects me to always pay? I have to see if I want to invest in her first. Maybe after a couple of dates, I might consider.”

“I kinda expect to pay, but I would be happy if she offers to split.” Continue reading “Should guys pay for the first date?”

Zui Wu Dao. Vol 2 -Chapter 44.

To my dear readers,

This chapter was so awkward to translate. It sounds so weird.. it’s probably about 85% accurate. Chapter 45 will be much better (and much more interesting), but it’s also difficult to translate. *sigh*. Sorry for taking so long. My mind doesn’t want to translate because of the amount of concentration needed. It’s very hard for me.

Here is this chapter in Chinese

This is my promoted post: Can Men and Women be purely friends?

Please donate to me if you can! Any amount is appreciated!  ❤

Chapter 44     Discussion

Xuan Luo was about to explain, he didn’t expect the lady to speak up and help him ease the situation. His impression of her increased on another level. Xuan Luo was curious about the lady who spoke up. Why was it that her words were able to control these angry looking men? They backed off immediately. But then again, it was none of his business. Currently, the most important thing was to find out the headquarter of Shen Tui Men and save Dong Fang Yu!

“Miss…can I ask you something?” Since Wang Yuan backed off, Xuan Luo looked at the woman who spoke up and asked with a smile on his face.

“I’m Dong Fang Xin. Dong Fang Yu is my older sister!”

Xuan Luo couldn’t help but looked foolishly at Dong Fang Xin. In his eyes, Dong Fang Yu was beautiful, but Dong Fang Yu was also gorgeous. However, their beauty was totally different. Although they were siblings, the two of them looked nothing alike.

“Oh, I see…” Xuan Luo thought to himself, “No wonder the lady’s commands are so charming, and she has the ability to control these guys. Definitely not a simple* person!”

“And you… sir?” Dong Fang Yu looked at the handsome young lad and asked out of curiosity.

“Xuan Luo is my name. I’ve met your sister before!” As Xuan Luo spoke, his grin lingered on his face.

Dong Fang Xin consciously caught Xuan Luo’s grin and began to feel relaxed. Xuan Luo’s grin wasn’t something that anyone could fake; it was a combination of rejoice, happiness and sweetness. Therefore, Dong Fan Xin’s vigilance towards Xuan Luo was decreasing more and more.

“Xin jie, why are you…” The woman who was analyzing earlier spoke up. Xuan Luo would describe her as wise and farsighted. From what he heard/saw earlier, she appeared to be very articulate and careful.

Dong Fang Yu lifted her hand up to stop the girl from continuing her sentence. The other two big guys were also thinking of the same thing. But Dong Fang Yu ignored their questioning glances and continued talking cheerfully with Xuan Luo.

“So how do you think we can rescue my sister?” Dong Fang Yu asked. Deep down, she was smitten by Xuan Luo’s attitude and good looks. How could she not continue a conversation with such an attractive guy? But Dong Fang Yu didn’t consider other aspects aside from Xuan Luo’s physical appearance, thus her mind is quite dirty.

Xuan Luo had no idea how to rescue a person. In his opinion, he just hoped his martial arts was better than his opponents. When it came to trickery or scheming, he was definitely an outsider. If Xuan Luo had already experienced all the worldly things, he probably wouldn’t be out here right now.

When it came to learning through experience, it wasn’t merely about the physical aspect. If you were in jiang hu and your life was like a blank piece of paper, then it was useless even if you had a strong body and good heart. Although, Xuan Luo’s dream was really to protect his loved ones…

——-

“Actually, I think the da jie** is quite right. Why don’t we continue listening to her opinions?” Xuan Luo looked at the girl next to Dong Fang Xin. However, Xuan Luo shouldn’t call the girl a “da jie”. Based on appearance, the girl was approximately 16 years of age. She was around Xuan Luo’s age, yet Xuan Luo called her a da jie. That was a huge mistake.

“You little punk, who are you calling da jie?? I’m only 16 you dumbass!” The girl glared angrily at Xuan Luo.

“Cai Qin!” Dong Fang Xin yelled out her name, showing her displeasure.

Cai Qin was actually Dong Fang Yu’s personal maid. But Dong Fang Yu had never treated Cai Qin like a servant. Instead, she treated Cai Qin as if she was her sister. Therefore, Cai Qin was very obedient towards the both of them. However, she still had her temper.

*cough cough* Xuan Luo lightly coughed because he wanted to break the awkwardness. Basically, he had the tendency to call females da jie. Usually, that would be a great way to strike a conversation with the opposite sex. He didn’t expect such a pretty lady to have such a fierce temper simply because he called her a “da jie”.

“Don’t take it to heart!” Dong Fang Xin felt bad and said apologetically to Xuan Luo.

“Haha. Of course.. If it weren’t for your sister, I might not be here today…” Xuan Luo decided there was no point in hiding anything. Even if he didn’t tell them now, eventually, they will find out.

“How can we save her though?” Xuan Luo asked.

“Yes, we need to think of a plan. But time is running out and I have no idea how my sister is doing right now!” Dong Fang Yu anxiously exclaimed. After finding out more about Xuan Luo, she basically trusted him completely; especially when she saw the expression on his face when he spoke of her sister.

“Please come in and we will have a discussion!” She gestured with her hand, and allowed Xuan Luo to go inside. Then, the rest of the group followed as well.

——-

The sky was slowly turning white and the red daylight could be seen slowly raising. The blackness was slowly diminishing.

“Okay then. Later, we shall follow our plan that we created! Whether we can save my sister will depend on Xuan Yuan (his first name) the martial artist***” All of them nodded after one another.

Although they didn’t sleep the entire night, the weariness did not appear on Xuan Luo’s face. They mainly spent the night discussing a plan on rescuing Dong Fang Yu, but once in awhile, they would bring up some family issues. Hence, Xuan Luo had a greater understanding of the four now.

Wang Yuan was the guy who attempted to strike Xuan Luo. The other guy’s name was Liu Hu, and both of them were hot blooded men. Although they weren’t very strong, they were very loyal. As for Dong Fang Xin, Dong Fang Yu’s sister, she was a very kindhearted lady but also very good at coming up with conspiracies. Lastly, the maid Cai Qin was extremely close to the Dong Fang sisters; she was also very good at analysing. Any time someone had trouble or was questioning the plan, Cai Qin would be able to explain the reasoning behind it.

Cai Qin’s fighting abilities were not very high. But when the enemy approaches, she could save herself. She was like a trusted counselor of Cha Lin. All her experiences from working and dealing with the business had made her very wise.

One night was enough for Xuan Luo and the rest of them to get along. After all, they all had the same goal.

When enemies meet, sometimes they could become friends. Although Xuan Luo and these guys were not trying to use each other, in a way, they were somewhat trying to.

Shen Tui Men’s behaviour truly turns up one’s nose. But it couldn’t be helped because their wings have gotten strong. Therefore, currently the most important thing was to bend the fully developed wing.

Xia Luo village, Guan Shan Jue were all affected by Shen Tui Men. When Dong Fang Xin was listening to Xuan Luo tell his story, the group were disgusted and angered.

Xuan Luo took a deep breath and looked up at the clear sky. He had a faraway look and his eyes grew serious.

“I will not allow you to harm my family and friends! Never!!” Xuan Luo stated with determination.

 

*It’s translated as “simple” but it sounds so odd in English. Basically, it means she’s not someone that can be judged based on appearance. She has a lot of background or information. She is a lot more complicated than she appears to be.

**da jie means older sister. Usually, Chinese has the tendency to refer others as sisters, aunts, uncles, brothers even if they do not have any blood relations. “Da” means older/bigger. Usually, you only call someone a big sister if they are in fact a lot older than you.

***In this whole chapter, they keep talking in third person and keeps referring to Xuan Luo as 少侠, which I do not know how to translate properly. It’s not really a martial artist, but it’s like a guy that does heroic stuff?? Omg, so confusing. (Btw, I tried avoiding the 3rd person as much as possible, because it sounds so weird in English)

Your addictions are toxic

Addiction

This is a topic I have been meaning to write about since last year, but I kept putting it off.

Addiction is something we are all aware of. It’s when you’re constantly ingesting a substance or engaging in an activity that you find pleasurable. For example: drug, alcohol, gambling, shopping, gaming, and etc.

While the substance or activity itself may bring us pleasure, it is very harmful to us in the long run.

Why?

1. You lose self control. You’re no longer able to “live” without it because you’re constantly thinking or craving for it.

2. Time and money is scarce. We only have 24 hours a day. If you spend 5+ (or however long you spend) hours feeding your addiction, you will have less time to do other things, or take care of other responsibilities.

Continue reading “Your addictions are toxic”

Zui Wu Dao. Vol 2 -Chapter 43.

To my dear readers,

Firstly, I would like to thank Stefanus Hendra for his generous donation. I haven’t received any donation for a month now. Thus, I was so happy and surprised when I received the email from paypal. Thank you so much!!

Secondly, this chapter was filled with words and expressions that do not exist in English. I tried my best. Hope you like it.

This is the chapter in Chinese

This is my promoted post: The truth about success  Please read!

Chapter 43     Cha Lin

Note: The Cha Lin is where Dong Fang Yu and her business is located

It was night time and surprisingly quiet. After Guan Shan Jue fell asleep, Xuan Luo sneaked out of the room and headed to the Cha Lin to search for clues.

Ever since Xuan Luo found out from Li Shao Miao that Dong Fang Yu had been captured by Shang Hua, his heart could not remain calm. Shen Tui Men’s appearance had definitely created a lot of tension within Qian Deng Zhen. Their behaviour resembled thieves, and it was something Xuan Luo could not endure. As martial artists, they aimed to bring peace and justice to the world.

Seeing this, how could Xuan Luo restrain himself? Most importantly, Shen Tui Men had caused harm to the closest person to him.

Although Shen Tui Men had established themselves in Qian Deng Zhen for two years, no one truly knew where their headquarter was. Qian Deng Zhen was surrounded by mountains and forests, hence, there were a lot of areas that hadn’t been touched or developed yet. In the past, due to Cha Lin watching over the village, Shen Tui Men never really made any drastic moves. It wasn’t until recently that they revealed their wolf-like greed to swallow the whole village… Continue reading “Zui Wu Dao. Vol 2 -Chapter 43.”