Tag: confidence

My dating experience on Hinge

Disclaimer: This is from my own personal experience and may or may not reflect the experiences of others. I started using Hinge from August 30th until around mid Oct of 2019.

PROFILE

You can sign up an account using only your phone number. Hinge allows you to choose/upload 6 photos of yourself. It took me a while to choose 6 haha. My friends next to me were so impatient.

  • I picked a selfie with my friend (but I covered her face in case it was confusing).
  • I had another full body image of myself so people would have an idea of my physical size (This was the most popular photo. I got the most hearts from this one).
  • There was a photo of me sitting with a bubble tea in my hand
  • I had another picture of myself as Baby Grace from the snapchat filter
  • There was also another photo of me and my brother in the museum of illusions. I was posing in awesome manner (upside down) while he was just standing straight and being boring
  • I also included another group photo of me and my friends failing in an escape room T_T (I WANNA ESCAPE YOOOOO)

I had to choose 3 prompts for Hinge. Prompts are used as conversation starters. The guy/girl may comment on your prompt. However, they cannot have a conversation with you unless you accept/allow them to.

Here were my prompts:

I’m the type of texter who
loves puns. I love English puns, Chinese puns. As long as they are punny, go for it. XD

Together we can…
compose a song together! I loveeee music!!!

The secret to getting to know me is
read my blog. liveandlearn88.com

I like my prompts because I think it makes me more unique and it reflects me well. I didn’t want to be the typical “I like to eat, travel, and sleep” LOL (no offense if that’s what you like).

If you are confused and needs some help using Hinge, visit https://hingeapp.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/categories/360001659533-Getting-Started for more information

 

MY EXPERIENCE

I’m told that guys on Hinge get to swipe approximately 5 people a day if they are a regular user. (I’m not sure if it’s the same for females).

Personally, I didn’t actually click like on anyone’s profiles. I only commented on one profile because I wanted to know what a dank meme was.

I didn’t actually have to initiate anything with anyone because I was getting likes every few minutes on the first day I created my profile. At first, I was open to all. But I had to make it super difficult because there were too many people and some guys were so old, they could be my dad. For instance, one guy was 64… uh…

As a result, I made it much harder for people to discover me since I put a deal breaker on age, no one with kids already, no drugs, and etc.

Hinge made me a preferred member for a month because they wanted to encourage me to use the app more. When you’re a preferred member, you can see everyone that has liked/commented on your profile. Otherwise, you would have to accept or reject one at a time before you can view the next person’s profile.

As a preferred member, you also get preferred preferences and you can customize it even more to fit what you are looking for.

 

LUCK

The reason why I have to filter so hard is because there are just too many people. I cannot talk to everyone. Basically, I accepted those who read my blog LOL (I can tell based on their comments) and if they are into music.

There are definitely a lot of guys with potential, but I have limited time and energy. I can only focus on so many before I lose track of the names and get them all mixed up. I cannot talk to a hundred people. I know that a hundred likes doesn’t necessarily mean a hundred options. However, if I accepted and they messaged me, I didn’t want to ignore them. Hence, I just let them pile up.

So as you can tell, online dating has a lot to do with luck too.

  1. Both you and your match have to be using it during the same time span.
  2. The age range is also a huge factor. I had just turned 31 around two weeks after I created my profile. One of my matches told me his cut off was 30. So technically, if I had started using the app in the middle of Sept, I wouldn’t even have popped up in his feed and we wouldn’t have spoken.
  3. Aside from one other person, I only spoke with those who have messaged me within the first 2-3 days that I was using the app. So it’s almost like first come first serve (Sorry if that sounds bad).

  Continue reading “My dating experience on Hinge”

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Controlling your mind

controlling your mind

Sorry I’ve been somewhat neglecting my personal blog posts. Recently, I have been out of ideas. For the longest time, I’ve been debating on what to write. I even googled “Interesting topics to write about”! Haha.

Anyway, today, I want to talk about controlling your mind.

Has it ever occurred to you that most of the pain we suffer from are caused by our thoughts?? Most of the time, when we are dealing with negative emotions, it is because we allow those emotions to grow.

Some may say, “I couldn’t help it.” True, to some extent, we do not have control over our thoughts. But in my opinion, we could change our state of mind if we allow it. 

When I was little, I always saw myself as a victim. I always blamed everything on everyone else but myself. I felt like I didn’t have any control and life was just super unfair.

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From the bottom to the top

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This post is a collaboration post I did with my friend, Alex. Instead of always talking about my own opinions from my own perspectives, I thought it would be interesting asking someone else. In the past, Alex and I would have very meaningful and deep conversations over coffee. Although he currently resides in Thailand, the internet has made it easy for us to stay in touch. I really like his answers, and hope you will as well.

Me: Alex, I want to write a post in regards to confidence because I think it is so crucial if you want to succeed in anything. Tell me, what does confidence mean to you? 

Alex: I think confidence is being fully comfortable with yourself as a person. Being comfortable with all of your flaws and insecurities and not being afraid to show them. Caring less about what others think and doing what makes you happy instead.

Me: How would you define it?

Alex: Being 100% your true self and not being afraid to express it wherever you are.

Me: I like that!! Everyone’s definition is probably different. To me, confidence is knowing that you’re capable of succeeding if you put in the work. Was there a person who has contributed to your confidence? If so, what did that person do or say to build up your self-esteem and feeling of self-worth?

Alex: One of my good friends living in Korea. He has this never-ending drive to improve himself and I just really admired his determination. Whether it was mastering Korean, starting a business or getting a better job, he made it happen. No matter what. Seeing his drive for being the best motivated me to be the best I could be as well.

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Speed Dating

speed dating.gif

This is actually my 100th post and my 2nd anniversary blogging on WordPress. Since my friends on facebook love relationship posts so much, I thought I’d share my experience at speed dating.

In December, I went speed dating with a friend of mine. I had never done anything like this before, so I had no expectations. In fact, I wasn’t even planning to look for someone. Anyhow, allow me to explain to you how it works.

The website is called 25dates.com . First, you select your preference. Then, you select where you live near to (you will see what I mean if you go on the site). Then, you will be able to look for an event that matches the age preference that you want and register.

Our venue was at a lounge. When we arrived, we were assigned a number. Women were given an even number, while men were given an odd number.

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Conversation Tips

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Do you want to have a good conversation? Is there someone you want to talk to, but you don’t know how to proceed? Today, I’m going to share some of my conversation tips with my readers.

Note: These tips are all based on my experiences. I am not an expert and I cannot not guarantee a good conversation.

Finding a connection (This applies for people you’ve never spoken to)

Often, when I attend big events, parties, or weddings, I tend to meet a lot of new people. If I happen to see someone I don’t know standing and/or sitting alone, I may go up to them and initiate a conversation.

First, I will smile and say, “Hi!” And wait for a response. If the person says hi back but quickly looks down or away, I just move on.

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Social Anxiety

Sharks

When I was little, I suffered from a lot of social anxiety. I was never diagnosed, but thinking back, I dreaded interacting with people. It was stressful for me. I felt judged and I didn’t want to sound stupid.

Whenever someone approached me, I would freak out on the inside. My heartbeat would increase, and I would have trouble focusing. I was terrified of people.

One of the biggest reasons why I felt this way was because I was unable to communicate in English. English is my second language, and it was extremely difficult for me. I was afraid of mispronouncing words, and I had very limited vocabulary.

Although I went to school briefly in Hong Kong (until I was 7), the English words I had acquired helped very little. I knew the basic “How are you?” “How do you do?” “Fine, thank you.” But that was it. I didn’t know how to carry on an actual conversation.

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Haters

Haters

A hater is described as someone who strongly dislikes a specified person or a thing. Usually, we realize they are haters by the type of comments they make.

Things to know about haters: 
1.Their comments are always negative.
2. Sometimes they hate for no reason.
3. When something bad happens to the person they hate, the haters think the person deserves it.
4. Haters tend to be extremely brutal online. (Perhaps because they can hate behind a screen, and never be confronted in person?)
5. The more famous you are, the more haters you will attract.

Now, I’m not saying I am a saint myself. I, like everyone else, have people and things I dislike and hate. However, I try my best to keep the negativity to myself. I do not want to say things to promote more hate or negative emotions.

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Building Confidence

Confidence

Confidence is an amazing feeling. It makes you feel like you can do anything.

It is power.

It is belief.

It is also posture and energy.

When someone is confident, you can sense it right away. It’s as if there is an invisible shield surrounding him/her. Confident people are usually very good presenters and quite popular. No wonder then, most people want to be confident. But the question is, how?

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