In today’s world, technology has really changed how relationships work. People no longer have to make direct phone calls or go to the person’s house in order to make plans. Nowadays, the majority of the people text.
Therefore, if you suck at texting, you’re in trouble.
I’m going to share a real story with you guys. It was a conversation between me and my friend. She had recently downloaded a lot of dating apps and was trying them out. She matched with a few guys and immediately messaged them.
Me: You messaged him? You should probably have waited for him to initiate a conversation!
Friend: Why? If we matched, what’s the point if we don’t talk to each other?
Me: True…but it’s already so easy for the guys. They can swipe hundreds of people in a matter of minutes. Plus, it only takes a few seconds to start a conversation. If he doesn’t even need to start a conversation, he might not value you. What did you say?
Friend: I said, “Hi, Joseph.”
Me: SO FORMAL!?!?! Omg, if you’re going to say something. You should make a comment about his profile or picture or something. Or tell a joke. It would be more interesting!?!
Friend: Why do I have to purposely change myself?
Me: Okay okay. Do whatever you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Most of the time, people might be playing the texting game.
Friend: What’s the texting game? Why do we have to play games? I just want to get straight to the point. Don’t waste my time.
Me: For instance, sometimes people see your messages but clearly take a lot longer to respond. Or the person might not message you for a few days or something. They do this in order to not seem desperate and/or perhaps they are also talking to multiple people. OR they could be busy and missed your messages. But that’s unlikely.. (Or maybe they just don’t want to talk)
Friend: …..I don’t want to be with someone who plays games with me.
Me: Well, if you want to talk to him that badly, you could always call. Voice convey a lot more emotions. But if you call early on, he might find it very strange or uncomfortable unless you guys have a definite connection or something.
Friend: ….What do you do?
Me: I’m not on these apps… but if I were….I would flirt and joke a lot more if I was interested.
Friend: I don’t know how to flirt.
Me: Instead of asking him questions like, “Hey. How are you?” or “What are you up to?” Say something like, “I am thinking of a person whose name starts with a J and ends with and H. Can you guess who it is?” *winking emoticon* Joke around. Use emoticons to indicate your mood? It’s hard to tell through text what you sound like unless you are very expressive. (NOTE: You have to build it up. If you say this kind of stuff right away, it’s just weird. Slowly build interest!!)
Friend: That’s not me. No one in my family flirts and it’s weird.
Me: *sigh* How do you show interest then?
*to be continued*
Can you guys relate? How do you usually start a conversation with a match?
12 thoughts on “The texting game”
I’m kind of an old geazer (but not too old), and regardless of what generation we belong to and whether we use apps or not, dating will always be tricky. That being said, I think your friend is going to be just fine by “not playing games” and just get to the point. True, she may get passed over by many guys. But by staying true to who she is, she’ll be weeding out those who are incompatible with her personality. She’s bound to find another person out there who also “doesn’t want to play games” and would rather just “get to the point.” And if you’re the type who prefers to flirt, there are plenty of those out there too. Good luck to you all!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Joe!! Your comment is so thoughtful.
I hope 2017 will be a great year for all of us! 😉
Yep. Even in my age group I found that men always wanted to text instead of talk. I hate that. Especially if you can’t text either. WTH?
LOL!!haha. You’re so cute, Tikeetha! ❤ hehe I like how you're like WTH!?
I think talking requires more thinking and effort. And texting is easier because you don't have to respond right away.
That is true, but I don’t have time to text all day
I never used any ‘dating app’ despite being from a slightly younger generation. There’s really no special reason for it, I just think of it as a pain in the ass and I know that such relationships can give away pretty quickly and leave an unpredictable amount of damage behind (it’s RL experience from my mother that ended up dating a psychopath and several assholes through those ‘chat rooms’). But, regardless of that, after reading your post I realized that I do play some games when texting but that’s because this is a ‘way’ of communicating less expressive than the other ones and if I don’t elaborate some stuff to maintain a good conversation I end up almost always answering in a business-like tone and ending everything without time to spare.
Anyway, good stuff, it’s interesting to read about your view on certain things. I will dwell on your posts a little bit more so you may see a comment of mine or two. Bye bye.
Thank you for taking the time to read and write me such a thoughtful comment, Ken! I really appreciate it.
I hope you will enjoy my posts and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
Yes, there are many psychopaths online. We all have to be careful!
That is true, but I don’t have time to text all day !
Hehe. What would you suggest? Thanks for reading!
I would rather fall in love with a person with whom I can be my true self. Sure, as a guy, if I don’t flirt around, I would be less popular. But finding that one person is all that matters. It takes time, but finding the right one with whom you can spend the rest of your life is so, just be satisfying.
I would say, just be yourself rather than playing psychological games and using tactics. If the person chooses you for being you, hold her tight till your last breath,
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes, always be your true self! If you don’t feel comfortable flirting, then don’t. I hope we’ll all find someone whom we can spend the rest of our lives with.