In today’s world, technology has really changed how relationships work. People no longer have to make direct phone calls or go to the person’s house in order to make plans. Nowadays, the majority of the people text.
Therefore, if you suck at texting, you’re in trouble.
I’m going to share a real story with you guys. It was a conversation between me and my friend. She had recently downloaded a lot of dating apps and was trying them out. She matched with a few guys and immediately messaged them.
Me: You messaged him? You should probably have waited for him to initiate a conversation!
Friend: Why? If we matched, what’s the point if we don’t talk to each other?
Me: True…but it’s already so easy for the guys. They can swipe hundreds of people in a matter of minutes. Plus, it only takes a few seconds to start a conversation. If he doesn’t even need to start a conversation, he might not value you. What did you say?
Friend: I said, “Hi, Joseph.”
Me: SO FORMAL!?!?! Omg, if you’re going to say something. You should make a comment about his profile or picture or something. Or tell a joke. It would be more interesting!?!
Friend: Why do I have to purposely change myself?
Me: Okay okay. Do whatever you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Most of the time, people might be playing the texting game.
Friend: What’s the texting game? Why do we have to play games? I just want to get straight to the point. Don’t waste my time.
Me: For instance, sometimes people see your messages but clearly take a lot longer to respond. Or the person might not message you for a few days or something. They do this in order to not seem desperate and/or perhaps they are also talking to multiple people. OR they could be busy and missed your messages. But that’s unlikely.. (Or maybe they just don’t want to talk)
Friend: …..I don’t want to be with someone who plays games with me.
Me: Well, if you want to talk to him that badly, you could always call. Voice convey a lot more emotions. But if you call early on, he might find it very strange or uncomfortable unless you guys have a definite connection or something.
Friend: ….What do you do?
Me: I’m not on these apps… but if I were….I would flirt and joke a lot more if I was interested.
Friend: I don’t know how to flirt.
Me: Instead of asking him questions like, “Hey. How are you?” or “What are you up to?” Say something like, “I am thinking of a person whose name starts with a J and ends with and H. Can you guess who it is?” *winking emoticon* Joke around. Use emoticons to indicate your mood? It’s hard to tell through text what you sound like unless you are very expressive. (NOTE: You have to build it up. If you say this kind of stuff right away, it’s just weird. Slowly build interest!!)
Friend: That’s not me. No one in my family flirts and it’s weird.
Me: *sigh* How do you show interest then?
*to be continued*
Can you guys relate? How do you usually start a conversation with a match?