Why people test each other

Relationship test

This week’s relationship topic was suggested by my friend, Dan. I am focusing on relationships here, but in general, people test each other all the time.

Here are some of the reasons why I think people test each other in relationships:

1. They want to know how much you care. For instance, a person might stop texting for a couple of days to see if the other person would initiate. A person might ask a ridiculous question and see how you react/respond. Ex. Would you save me or _______ if we both fell in the river? (This is a stupid question, but it’s a common one)

2. They want to know their competition. By asking questions such as: “Do you think she/he is attractive?” The person will be able to tell what type of girls/guys you are into (unless you lie). Some people may ask and get jealous by the answers (because they want to be your only object of desire). Some may ask simply due to curiosity; and some may ask so they know how to avoid/get rid of their competition.

3. They are insecure. Some people may feel the need to test the other person in order to validate themselves. Perhaps, they want to make sure the other person is in their control and/or is willing to do what they want.

4. They want to find out whether you actually like them for who they are. Ex. A guy might see if the girl would leave him if he pretended to be broke/lost a lot of money.

5. They want to see how far they can go. Initially, when you first meet someone you don’t know, you don’t have much to lose (unless it’s your boss or someone you plan to work with). Therefore, people tend to be more willing to take risks. Girls might try to see how much the guy would be willing to do for them. Likewise, guys might see how far they can get with the girl.

That’s all the reasons I can think of. In my opinion, it’s inevitable for people to want to test each other. I don’t think it’s an issue unless the person is way too extreme. If you find yourself constantly being tested, then the person you’re seeing is probably very insecure. I would suggest you to sit down with her/him and talk about it. It is a bit unhealthy.

Can you think of any other reasons why people test each other? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

For next Friday, I’m going to write about: How to escape the friendzone! Stay tuned. 😉
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About gchan7127

I just want to share all my knowledge, ideas, and experiences with the world. It makes me happy to know that I can inspire others.
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7 Responses to Why people test each other

  1. Marble says:

    I don’t disagree with anything you have here. I just wanted to add that an over abundance of testing, especially if gifts or other “treats” are part of it, may be a sign the person doesn’t care at all and is just attempting to hustle. (Think host/ hostess [or stripper if North American] stringing)

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