To my dear readers,
Long time no blog!! Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you guys. 😛
Today I would like to share my experience on Coffee Meets Bagel. For those who don’t know, CMB is a free online dating app where you can meet other people from your city. I like this app because guys cannot message you unless it is a mutual like (meaning, they “liked” you and you “liked” them back).
In case you’re confused, here’s a picture I found on google:
Anyhow, I’m not going to teach you how to use this application. If you are interested, I’m sure there are many tutorials online!
I’ve been using this app for approximately two weeks or so, and here are some things I have noticed:
Guys are tired of trying
I scrolled through some profiles and I could tell that some guys were tired of making so much effort. Under the column for “I appreciate when my date…..”, some wrote, “shows up”, “offers to split the bill.”, “takes initiative.”
At first, I thought it was just one or two bitter guys. But after using the app for two weeks, I realized I come across these types of profiles on a daily basis!!
So it appears that a lot of the guys had terrible experiences and had been stood up by dates in the past.
This is rather unfortunate because after so much disappointment, they don’t even want to try anymore.
Women have a lot of perceived choices
Coffee Meets Bagel gives me the option to match with at least 11 people a day (6 bagels and 5 on discover). Those guys have already “liked” me. That means, if I choose to click connect, I can potentially be speaking with more than 70+ guys in a week. However, in reality, it doesn’t mean they actually like me.
The guys probably spend around 10 seconds per profile. In fact, I’m not sure if they actually read it or purely click “like” based on appearance.
If the guys actually had to pay $$ or create a two minutes speech to talk to me, I am quite sure there would be a substantial decrease on the amount of “options” I have.
So although it may seem women have a lot of choices, they are only perceived choices. Realistically speaking, the number of guys who are interested are far fewer than what we may think.
Too many options actually make it harder
Since I am given so many “options”, I have to be selective because I cannot accept everyone. Out of 11, on average, I typically would only accept one or two on a daily basis. I analyze their profiles and pick the ones that intrigue me the most. The reason is because if the guys do message, I do not want to ignore them. I know for certain if I’m speaking to more than ten guys a week, I will quickly forget and confuse all their names.
As a result, I’m sure there are many quality guys out there who get passed on a daily basis. Perhaps they are wonderful guys, but their profiles or pictures did not stand out enough to capture the attention of the ladies.
NOTE: From time to time, I do take the initiative to message guys I match with. But usually, they do not respond. l don’t take it personally because they’re probably already talking to multiple people or are not interested from the start. After all, it takes more effort to go to the washroom than to click a “like”. So a “like” honestly doesn’t mean much.
So, would I still recommend online dating to others?! The answer is yes. Once you are no longer in school, your schedule usually becomes very fixed. It is extremely difficult to meet new people unless you go to events or parties where you do not know the majority of the guests. Hence, using dating apps are a great way to connect with others.
I would advise you to keep your standards high, but expectations low. You never know! Perhaps you may find your significant other on the app! 😉 Good luck!