To my dear readers,
Long time no blog!! Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you guys. 😛
Today I would like to share my experience on Coffee Meets Bagel. For those who don’t know, CMB is a free online dating app where you can meet other people from your city. I like this app because guys cannot message you unless it is a mutual like (meaning, they “liked” you and you “liked” them back).
In case you’re confused, here’s a picture I found on google:
Anyhow, I’m not going to teach you how to use this application. If you are interested, I’m sure there are many tutorials online!
I’ve been using this app for approximately two weeks or so, and here are some things I have noticed:
Guys are tired of trying
I scrolled through some profiles and I could tell that some guys were tired of making so much effort. Under the column for “I appreciate when my date…..”, some wrote, “shows up”, “offers to split the bill.”, “takes initiative.”
At first, I thought it was just one or two bitter guys. But after using the app for two weeks, I realized I come across these types of profiles on a daily basis!!
So it appears that a lot of the guys had terrible experiences and had been stood up by dates in the past.
This is rather unfortunate because after so much disappointment, they don’t even want to try anymore.
Women have a lot of perceived choices
Coffee Meets Bagel gives me the option to match with at least 11 people a day (6 bagels and 5 on discover). Those guys have already “liked” me. That means, if I choose to click connect, I can potentially be speaking with more than 70+ guys in a week. However, in reality, it doesn’t mean they actually like me.
The guys probably spend around 10 seconds per profile. In fact, I’m not sure if they actually read it or purely click “like” based on appearance.
If the guys actually had to pay $$ or create a two minutes speech to talk to me, I am quite sure there would be a substantial decrease on the amount of “options” I have.
So although it may seem women have a lot of choices, they are only perceived choices. Realistically speaking, the number of guys who are interested are far fewer than what we may think.
Too many options actually make it harder
Since I am given so many “options”, I have to be selective because I cannot accept everyone. Out of 11, on average, I typically would only accept one or two on a daily basis. I analyze their profiles and pick the ones that intrigue me the most. The reason is because if the guys do message, I do not want to ignore them. I know for certain if I’m speaking to more than ten guys a week, I will quickly forget and confuse all their names.
As a result, I’m sure there are many quality guys out there who get passed on a daily basis. Perhaps they are wonderful guys, but their profiles or pictures did not stand out enough to capture the attention of the ladies.
NOTE: From time to time, I do take the initiative to message guys I match with. But usually, they do not respond. l don’t take it personally because they’re probably already talking to multiple people or are not interested from the start. After all, it takes more effort to go to the washroom than to click a “like”. So a “like” honestly doesn’t mean much.
So, would I still recommend online dating to others?! The answer is yes. Once you are no longer in school, your schedule usually becomes very fixed. It is extremely difficult to meet new people unless you go to events or parties where you do not know the majority of the guests. Hence, using dating apps are a great way to connect with others.
I would advise you to keep your standards high, but expectations low. You never know! Perhaps you may find your significant other on the app! 😉 Good luck!
Grow with me 
Some of us don’t realise how much effort guys put in to come up with pick up lines and messages so that they get a reply from girls. 😀 it’s always nice to be polite when turning them down.
OMG! Sangti! I didn’t know you read/subscribed to my blog! Awww thanks for reading and commenting! I hope you’re still reading my translations! ❤
And yeah, I think guys get rejected a lot so some are tired or they just don't want to try anymore. 😦
Ayyye I am definitely active on your blog ^^ you have very relatable posts. I do apologise for not dropping comments frequently despite reading the translations. Still waiting to stockpile 30 chappies before reading though haha. These days I’ve stopped reading like I used to and I’m focusing more on the work and studies here. Thank you so much for the lovely work you do :)) ♥️♥️
Awww thank you!! Haha okie! I am at 108 for “the eunuch is pregnant” and 58 for “supernatural girlfriend”. Hehe thanks for reading and good luck with your studies!! 😊😊😊
Heh I’ll wait a little longer for SG. I read eunuch is pregnant upto 50 so yay 50 more in stock. =D can’t thank you enough for your work. I’ll click ads since I can’t donate.
Omg I can’t wait until you catch up to the eunuch is pregnant! It gets really REALLY good! You should start now! I just released Chapter 109!! 😉 *wink wink* Chapter 54 is SOOOOOO FUNNY
Owkay I’ll go read ^^ I’ll start from th beginning again to refresh my memory.
Ohh! You published this post a couple of weeks ago already. Glad you shared it!
Hmm, I’m not sure if I agree with what you wrote about the guys being tired of trying. Let’s have a discussion. I like to play devil’s advocate in your posts. Maybe the guys don’t write that much because guys in general don’t base a lot of their thoughts or desires in words. On dating apps, I think the majority of guys want to see what the girl looks like first and then attraction builds from there. Words are just words. Until the guy sees your photo, he actually doesn’t know who he’s interacting with. Or the guys also are lacking knowledge on what it takes to build a good or interesting profile. Sometimes the guys want to actually have some conversation start from the icebreakers instead of spilling out their hearts on those one-liners. Do you get what I mean? Maybe you can write a post instead on what you think guys (or girls) should write or share in order to have a “quality” dating profile!
I think you should share more about your actual experiences on CMB too. I’m sure your readers want to know. 😉 😀
Thanks for sharing your view, Karen! I do agree that guys care most about physical attraction. Most of the guys I have spoken to told me they don’t even read the profiles unless they match with the girls. Some just click “like” as long as they find the girl decently attractive.
But I think some guys highly underestimate the power of a good profile. All the girls I have spoken to tell me that they read the profiles (I know my sample may be biased). Since females typically get so many more matches, they have to be picky and not like every single guy. So when selecting, their profiles usually need to stand out a little (that’s my personal opinion though).
Haha. Maybe I will share more experiences in the future! Thanks for reading, Karen!!!! ❤
Hehe. If I were a guy, I would click like on you for sure *wink wink nudge nudge* Hehe. So cuteeeeeee
No problem, Grace!! 🙂 Glad you acknowledge it! 😀 Yea, attraction for guys is mostly physical; it doesn’t mean they’re superficial, it’s just how they’re built and wired. Girls need more information than just the looks (what does he do, what kind of person he is, etc.), This is all rooted in biology and how the human species works lol. There’s nothing wrong with it. If girls and guys understand that more, dating would result in less heartache.
Yea, you should write more about it! I always love to share my viewpoints as well.
Haha, oh youuuuuuuu ;P. You’re always so sweet :’)
How do you judge those people? I have the habit of getting to message a lot of people online, just for the sake of it, and unfortunately they are never close to where I live, if even in the same country, but I meet so many interesting people! Even if they don’t seem to be, they might just reveal themselves after a while and I think that if I was judging them in anyway, I might have skipped on such wonderful meetings.
This is why I can’t really relate to these things, I’d rather it be some kind of place where people could gather locally for the sake of talking, not dating, and especially not something where you have to evaluate people before even talking to them. I find it a bit sad because be it in real life or online, it’s hard to fit such requirements. Honestly I don’t think I’d find what I’m looking for there even if I tried.
If this is not too private, how does this turn out for you? I can’t imagine that people there would spend months talking before considering dating, would they? Who knows though haha!
Thanks for reading and taking the time to write me such a personal comment! Ummm, I also have a lot of friends online. I guess, the difference is that these people are in the same city as you. The point is to meet up and date? (I’m quite sure no one would use the dating app as a friendship app). So I guess you have to figure out what you’re looking for in a significant other and hope to find someone who is compatible with you.
It depends on your age and your stage in life. What you want when you’re in your teens and when you’re in your mid or late 20s is different.
Currently, I’m talking to a few guys but I have one that I like more than the rest. lol. We’ll see how it goes. So far, we’ve been on two dates. Hehe. Normally, you want to meet up within a week of msging because if you wait too long, the person in your imagination may be totally different from the person you end up meeting in real life. Also, the app is designed so that the conversation will be locked after 7 days. The goal is to get the other person’s contacts within a week and talk to them using whatsapp/text/other means. But keep in mind that most people are using multiple apps and may have multiple options.