Years ago, I had considered writing a post on depression. But in the end, I never did it because it was such a dark topic.

But today, I felt the need to do so due to Kim Jonghyun’s suicide on Dec 18th. For those who are unaware, he was a member of a popular K-pop group called SHINee.

In my opinion, all of us are a bit broken on the inside. None of us are totally ok. Most of us just try to hide or ignore the negative emotions inside of us. Perhaps, we try distracting ourselves or avoid thinking about it.

There is so much stigma about mental illness, and our society is not very forgiving. However, I strongly believe the Asian culture is even worse. The amount of societal pressure and open criticism people experience is unbelievable.

If you try to tell others how you feel, most people will put the blame on you:

“Why are you depressed? Your life is already so much better than so many other people. Think about those who live in a 3rd world country and have no food and water!”    

“Your life is so good. You’re just ungrateful and spoiled.”

“You’re weak.”

Basically, they try to make you feel worse for feeling depressed.

But that’s not how it works. If you’re depressed, you do not actually want to feel that way. You just can’t help it.

Perhaps, there is nothing to look forward to.

You can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It seems to be slowly eating away your soul…

Sometimes, it’s just easier to disappear and not deal with it anymore.

It’s a constant battle with the mind.

Although I had never been diagnosed with depression, I feel like I have some mild experience of it.

At one point of my life, I felt like I lived with no purpose. I was just living, but I was dead on the inside.

It was a numbing feeling?

Eventually, I got over it by reading a lot more self-help books, watching inspirational clips, and discovering a purpose for myself.

For me, I needed to feel like my existence matter. I needed to feel like I could control my life.

Anyhow, here are some tips that may help:

  1. Create goals and work towards them on a daily basis
  2. Plan something to look forward to
  3. Spend time doing the things that make you happy and with those who enjoy your company
  4. Do something to help others
  5. Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for

I’m not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, so I honestly can’t provide any other tips. But I just want to tell you that you’re not alone. If you know you’re suicidal, please seek help.

Don’t try to suppress and deal with everything on your own. Don’t be ashamed of feeling the way you do.

Take care.


Author: gchan7127

I just want to share all my knowledge, ideas, and experiences with the world. It makes me happy to know that I can inspire others.

13 thoughts on “Depression”

  1. Yeah, that’s an accurate description of how it feels, and how others try to ‘help’ you with their words.
    It’s like drowning in the dark. You can’t see where to even shout for help, and something pulls you deeper inside while you struggle.
    Thanks for the post.

  2. MY GOSH YES THOSE WERE MY EXACT THOUGHTS WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT JONGHYUN’s SUICIDE. Honestly, though, asain culture is absolutely terrible with mental illnesses…. a lot of them don’t even believe that it exists… 😦

  3. I’m diagnosed with major depressive disorder for few years. and I have it since teenagers. what I can say is depression is not just a mind issues. its body and environment as well. and depression is not an illness it is can be say as the crippling of emotion. and its more connected to the nerve and chemistry of your body and brain. and it simply not because you are sad. and not one time only things. personally I can’t eat rice because it make me unable to leave my bed and I can’t sleep either. thus im in overwhelms state. it you slowly dying and thus crave for suicide. to make it better it start addicted to phone and start to read online novel for hours if I stop I felt soo bad because my mind and body screaming at me for release. well that a sneak peak of my little brain

  4. I experienced the exact same thing , I had a depression and started to think of suicidal, I was afraid to tell my parents and I didn’t know it’s depression, and when I told some people, they critzed me saying i lack patience and spoiled ,some people even laughed at me ,but A friend of my mom told her to go to a psychiatric and he told me it’s depression and descriped medication
    It’s is simply a disease that needs medication and care like any other disease
    Also to have people around you that really care for you and the most important thing is to take care of yourself , and don’t let anything or anyone influence you in any negative way
    Thanks for your post ,so insporing especially those steps ,I’m going to memorize them 😊😊😊

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