Years ago, I had considered writing a post on depression. But in the end, I never did it because it was such a dark topic.
But today, I felt the need to do so due to Kim Jonghyun’s suicide on Dec 18th. For those who are unaware, he was a member of a popular K-pop group called SHINee.
In my opinion, all of us are a bit broken on the inside. None of us are totally ok. Most of us just try to hide or ignore the negative emotions inside of us. Perhaps, we try distracting ourselves or avoid thinking about it.
There is so much stigma about mental illness, and our society is not very forgiving. However, I strongly believe the Asian culture is even worse. The amount of societal pressure and open criticism people experience is unbelievable.
If you try to tell others how you feel, most people will put the blame on you:
“Why are you depressed? Your life is already so much better than so many other people. Think about those who live in a 3rd world country and have no food and water!”
“Your life is so good. You’re just ungrateful and spoiled.”
Basically, they try to make you feel worse for feeling depressed.
But that’s not how it works. If you’re depressed, you do not actually want to feel that way. You just can’t help it.
Perhaps, there is nothing to look forward to.
You can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It seems to be slowly eating away your soul…
Sometimes, it’s just easier to disappear and not deal with it anymore.
It’s a constant battle with the mind.
Although I had never been diagnosed with depression, I feel like I have some mild experience of it.
At one point of my life, I felt like I lived with no purpose. I was just living, but I was dead on the inside.
It was a numbing feeling?
Eventually, I got over it by reading a lot more self-help books, watching inspirational clips, and discovering a purpose for myself.
For me, I needed to feel like my existence matter. I needed to feel like I could control my life.
Anyhow, here are some tips that may help:
- Create goals and work towards them on a daily basis
- Plan something to look forward to
- Spend time doing the things that make you happy and with those who enjoy your company
- Do something to help others
- Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for
I’m not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, so I honestly can’t provide any other tips. But I just want to tell you that you’re not alone. If you know you’re suicidal, please seek help.
Don’t try to suppress and deal with everything on your own. Don’t be ashamed of feeling the way you do.