When we were little, a friend could simply be someone who played with us. Perhaps it was someone who liked what we liked. There weren’t really any requirements.
But as we get older, our definition of a friend starts changing. People who we hang out with are not necessarily our friends anymore. Our standards become higher and people have to start earning our friendships.
Everyone’s idea of a friend could vary. However, I believe that the qualities of a true friend is pretty much standard for all of us.
In my opinion, true friends are those who love and accept you for who you are. You would never feel the need to be someone else around them. They are reliable and you know they’ll be there for you if needed.
True friends are the ones who can make things enjoyable, even if you guys are doing absolutely nothing.
True friends are the ones who you can be in total comfort, even if you are sitting in silence.
True friends will not care how you look or how much money you have.
But sometimes, there will be people who come in and out of your life. At one point, you may have been very close to someone; yet somehow, the person may end up becoming like a stranger.
People change. Things change. Sometimes, you just end up drifting apart. But if the relationship means a lot to you, try to reach out to the other person and show him/her how much you value them.
P.S. Friendship is a two way street though. Both sides have to want it. You cannot always be the one who is giving/receiving. It’s give and take.
While I was in the hospital last year, one of my close friends came to visit me in China. She was travelling in Asia at the time, so it was relatively easy for her to see me.
Although it was relatively cheap for her come to China, it still required a lot of effort. My friend had to get a Visa and come to a country in which she didn’t particularly like. She solely came for me.
During her stay in China, she spent the majority of her time with me. She would come to the hospital and spend around 6 or 7 hours with me daily.
She was there with me during the darkest moments of my life.
I would cry almost daily. I cried because the needles hurt. I cried because I was in pain. I cried because I was in the hospital and I didn’t want to be in the hospital. I cried because I wanted to travel with her, but I couldn’t.
She would gently say, “Don’t cry, Grace. Things will get better. You will get better.”
To that, I cried even harder.
She didn’t know how to comfort me. Honestly, there was nothing anyone could really say that would make me feel better. But her presence meant a lot. It was great to finally have someone whom I could speak English with.
My 15 yrs old roommate envied me. She told me, “I wish I had a friend like yours. I wish I had such a good relationship with someone.”
I responded, “Do your friends know you’re in the hospital?! Perhaps they can come visit you too!”
She said, “Hell no! I would never let them see me like this. They wouldn’t be my friends. They would be scared and probably tell everyone I look hideous.”
“True friends don’t do that! My friend has never seen me in this state either. It’s not like she’ll stop being my friend because I look ugly. She’s not my friend because of the way I look.”
“I hope one day I can find a friend like yours.”
I know I am so lucky. My friend didn’t have to come see me. I have nothing. No money. No status. No connections. In fact, seeing me was more of a liability since she had to spend money and time to fly over.
She just wants me to be healthy and happy.
She would watch Voice of China (It’s SO GOOD) and Amazing Race (China Version) with me because I like it.
Sometimes I would be crying, and then suddenly stop and say, “Oh, I like this song.” And be totally fine again. She was shocked by how drastic I could be. Haha.
My friend is a true friend. I’ll never forget what she has done for me. She is not a person of many words, but I know she loves me. (She probably hates the fact I’m telling the world right now :P, but I have to express my gratitude!)
There were many unspoken words, but my heart heard it all.
Thank you so much for loving me. Thank you so much for being in my life. I too, love you with all my heart. ❤