To my dear readers,
I haven’t blogged in SO LONG. Haha. (Sorry). Today, I would like to share some of the online dating mistakes I have made in the past and also two awesome tips. Hopefully, this post will help provide you with some insight.
- Too focused on the outcome
This is a big one. In the past, while I was online dating, my sole purpose was to find a potential relationship. I didn’t want to sleep around, or waste time. So, my mindset was, “Don’t talk to me unless you want something serious.”
However, whoever you’re talking to doesn’t even know you yet. You can’t expect or ask someone to show commitment before they even have an idea of what you’re like.
Suggestion: After speaking to them for a week or two, perhaps set up a date to meet up and see whether you enjoy their company. Don’t make it like an interview style and ask questions like, “When would you like to settle down?” “How many kids do you want?” and etc (Note: I didn’t do that but you get the idea. It may scare off a lot of people if you come off so intense at the beginning. Do not plan out or imagine your entire future with a stranger!)
- Suffered from Oneitis
In the past, I recalled getting very attached to someone I’ve met online. I think it was because I liked him so much that I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. I was so focused on him that I wanted him to respond to me every day (and quickly too). I didn’t realize I was giving him so much pressure until it was much too late.
I remember having lots of options but in my mind, I was like, “No! I just want him! I don’t need anyone else!” (I know, so pathetic -_-). But when you’re overly obsessed with a person, it makes you appear very clingy and desperate.
Suggestion: Pace yourself in the conversation. It’s not sustainable if you want someone to constantly respond to you. Quality over quantity. Also, don’t focus on just one guy/girl until you guys are exclusive. He/she is probably talking to many others as well.
- Being too demanding
In the past, I’ve been extremely vocal about what I want. But if a person is interested in you, you wouldn’t need to force him/her to do anything.
As my student/friend said, “Grace, don’t judge a man by what he says. Judge a man by what he does.”
It’s sooooo true! Let his actions to speak for himself.
If a person wants to see you, they’ll make time. If a person values you, they’ll show you. Allow them to come to you.
Suggestion: Don’t make anyone do anything. Just let it be and wait and see.
Now that I’ve told you about the 3 mistakes I’ve made, here are 2 awesome tips: Continue reading “Avoid these 3 online dating mistakes + 2 great tips”