This week’s post is inspired by my friend’s loving relationship with her boyfriend. She wants to stay anonymous, so let’s call her “Justine” and her man, “Justin”. Haha.
Justine and Justin always seem so happy together. They never appear to have any arguments, and it seems like they’re still in their honeymoon stage after 6 years of dating. It’s as if their relationship is perfect.
I started to observe them. I wanted to know what it is that makes their relationship so successful.
Soon, I realized that:
They’re always trying to make each others’ life easier and better.
+ When Justine’s bike grip was loose, Justin noticed it and replaced it with a new one (without her asking)
+ When Justine walks by a Vietnamese restaurant, she orders Justin’s favourite dish and brings it home to surprise him (without him asking)
They never say, they just do.
+ They never tell each other what to do. (Ex. I want this. Give me that.) They never brag about what they will do. They just take action. If they think the other person would appreciate or like something, they will do it or make it or buy it or fix it (you get the point).
They are willing to give unconditionally.
+ Last year, Justine wanted to surprise Justin with a new phone. She received a ONE PLUS ONE invitation, and ordered a new phone for Justin. Little did she know that Justin did the same for her. They both ended up surprising each other with the same phone. Were they thinking, “He/she better give me a nice gift because I’m getting this phone for her/him!” No. They just want the other person to be happy. They never count what they do for each other.
They have very good communication and trust each other.
+ “If we have an issue, we deal with it immediately. We don’t build up resentment.”
+ “We both feel secured. Neither of us would ever cheat on each other.”
“There’s no point in being with someone if he/she does not make you better emotionally, physically, or mentally.” -Justine
So, what have I learned from observing them?
1. They are very, very lucky to have each other.
2. They are so well balanced that it’s almost unrealistic.
3. It’s about finding a person who meets your needs.
4. You need love, but more importantly: trust, mutual respect, and communication.
5. If your priorities differ from your partners, there will be a lot of issues.
Some good questions for yourself:
What do you want or need?
What are your priorities?
If you are in a relationship, is the person you are with aware of your needs or expectations?
By the way, I’m not trying to tell anyone to break up with his/her partner if he/she is not like Justin or Justine. I just believe that it is always possible to improve and be better than you are. By showing more appreciation and care, your partner will feel more valued and in turn, do more for you.
P.S. I’m having a lot of trouble writing long blog posts. I am sorry. It’s not that I do not like elaborating, but every sentence that I write has a purpose. I am trying to make it less general, but it’s hard. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it even though it’s only roughly 500 words.