Are your expectations killing your relationships?

acceptance

A couple days ago, I was in the car with my dad as he drove me to the dentist. On our way there, he turned on the radio (Chinese channel) and we happened to come across an interesting topic.

The scenario was: A woman has been dating her boyfriend for around 10 years. However, she kept rejecting his proposal for marriage because she felt like the guy couldn’t support her. Her man decided that he was only going to ask once more. If she’s going to reject him again, then they will break up. However, the woman was furious because she has spent 10 years of her youth with this man. She thinks she’s doing nothing wrong because she wants to motivate him to earn more money. In her opinion, what’s the point of getting married if they cannot afford to start a family together? Therefore, she has called into the radio station to complain.

When I first heard this, I was amused and slightly shocked. The woman should have stated her expectations from the start. The man could have then chose to either stay with her and satisfy her, or break up with her so she could go find someone else.

But then I thought about it, is that even love? It seemed more like a contract to me. It’s like, “Oh, I’ll marry or be with you if you make X amount and you can give me X and do X and etc.”

Continue reading “Are your expectations killing your relationships?”

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What is Success?

This week, I would like to talk about success. Please pause and take a moment to think about it. What does success mean to you?

In my opinion, in today’s society, we are too consumed by money. It seems like money is what we use to define someone who is “successful”. The more money you have, the more things you have, the more you are “winning” in life.

While I do believe money is important, I believe the process of attaining the money is important as well. What do I mean by that?

Well, are you satisfied with your job? What are you trading in order to get the money? Continue reading “What is Success?”

Relationship Goals

Relationship goals

This week’s post is inspired by my friend’s loving relationship with her boyfriend. She wants to stay anonymous, so let’s call her “Justine” and her man, “Justin”. Haha.

Justine and Justin always seem so happy together. They never appear to have any arguments, and it seems like they’re still in their honeymoon stage after 6 years of dating. It’s as if their relationship is perfect.

I started to observe them. I wanted to know what it is that makes their relationship so successful.

Continue reading “Relationship Goals”

Appearance

Princess

This is not a blog post that tells you appearance doesn’t matter. Because it does.

Initially, when you first meet someone, you judge them based on what he/she looks like.

Some may deny it, but when we first meet someone, our minds are trying to help us figure out the person. We want to know what we are dealing with. It’s like our minds are scrambling to find the pieces of a missing puzzle.

We take what we can get. This includes what the person looks like, his/her choice of clothing, his/her posture, his/her possessions, his/her body language, and so on.

Continue reading “Appearance”

How most Asian parents think

A plus

Instead of blogging about motivational things this week, I want to share something that I find quite interesting and true for most traditional Asian families.

Note: This post is based on my experiences, as well as many others. It is not to say all Asian parents are like this.

Punishment
Asian parents believe it is totally acceptable to beat their children. They believe that punishment will deter an undesirable behaviour from happening again. Perhaps the child will be too afraid to get hit, so he/she will be too frightened to misbehave.

Once, my friends and I were randomly discussing over getting beaten as a child, and we went through a circle telling each other what we were hit with. Surprisingly, all of our parents used different things! The list consisted of: hand, a stick, a feather duster, a broom, newspaper, a ruler, a coat hanger, a rope, a hockey stick, and even a baseball bat. When we heard “baseball bat”, all of us were slightly amused and surprised at the same time. We all went, “Woaahhhh.” After all, baseball bats are so heavy/hard! That’s brutal!! But we had a great laugh. We all turned out fine, I think.

The Western society might find this shocking and unacceptable, but it is very common if you grew up with traditional Asian parents.

Continue reading “How most Asian parents think”