Dating: Young vs Old.

dating-again

When you’re young, dating is very simple and innocent. Usually, you want to be with the person simply because you like him/her. It’s typically more fairy-tale like.

However, when you’re older, attraction is not enough (if you’re looking for something serious). There are way more things that play a factor in whether you would want to be with a person for the long term.

For instance:

Would you want the person to be the mother/father of your child?

Is he/she financially stable?

Does he/she want kids?

Could you stand living with him/her?

Is he/she supportive of your goals and dreams?

And so on.

You might say, “Well, that’s not true. I don’t think about that stuff when I’m dating.” Haha. I think this highly depends on your age and how serious you are. If you’re just looking for fun and something short term, it definitely wouldn’t matter. However, if you’re at an age where you feel pressured or you want to settle down, then the answers to these questions are actually very important. 

As a female coming from a traditional background, my mom constantly nags me to find a man to settle down with. She is worried that I will be a “left over” woman (basically, women who end up alone without a spouse). Generally, Asian families want their daughters to settle down no later than 30.

While I can understand, I don’t want to get married just for the sake of it. I feel like the reasoning is too crappy  “Get marry so you won’t end up alone.” -_-”

It’s not that I want to be alone. However, if I can’t find someone that adds value to my life, I’d rather be alone. Haha.

Hmmm… or maybe I just don’t like responsibility. My friend told me, “Responsibility is the killer of attraction.” LOL

For now, I’m just going to chill and not “panic” too much. 😉

Note: There are endless possibilities. You never know who you’ll meet -online or in real life. Keep your eyes open! 😛

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About gchan7127

I just want to share all my knowledge, ideas, and experiences with the world. It makes me happy to know that I can inspire others.
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14 Responses to Dating: Young vs Old.

  1. Grenn says:

    This is just an personal opinion. I think it really does not matter whether that person age is younger or older than you. There are people who are mentally more mature despite their age, whereas there are some older people who are immature throughout their life.

    I think what matter most is the values share together in a couple. It takes much more importance when you want to settle down. If you have similar values, arguments will be less and conversations are easier. An example from a personal experience, one person in the couple valued blind loyalty to friends be it close or not, giving generously without thinking. While the other person believed that friendship is a reciprocal relation that is not based on blind trust to anyone but on mutual support with trust build with time. Not seeing the same thing on the same level is a situation that will explode at some point.

    As for settling because you’re getting older… I agree with you about not settling for just anyone because of social pressure. Besides, there is the question of “Why do you want to settle?” If settling yourself does not have any reasons and does not fulfill any needs or help you grow mentally… why bother?

    • gchan7127 says:

      Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, Grenn!!! I know what you mean… age actually doesn’t matter as much as I thought it would. 😛

      And it’s true. If you have similar values, you’ll definitely get along much better.

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!! Like you said, if it doesn’t fulfill any needs or help me/you grow mentally, what’s the point?

    • bobolander says:

      Here is a random comment, that I wanted to write based on yours:

      People tend to fall in love with characteristics that are opposite to yours. As you said that the example is from personal experience and as I don’t know how personal that is, then let me say, there might be a variation to that where the nice one knows that he/she shouldn’t trust others so much and clearly understands his/her partner’s opinion, but this is part of his character, unless something really bad comes, he/she won’t be able to change so easily. Have you heard the saying “what goes around comes around”? I have seen lots of examples where that is true, and there surely are people that believe in that. If you do good deeds, no matter to whom, then good things will come to you. But at the same time, it would be good if there is a person at your side, who thinks differently, and who will protect you from the harm that your good nature brings.

      Of course, the good natured person might not comprehend and not be able to learn from the bad experience and still see the good in others. That is when the realistic one comes to help. If you can’t move the mountain with sheer force, then try to move it little by little, and the mountain won’t even feel that there was a change. If you love someone, then that means that you accept all his/her positive and negative sides and you try to compliment them and to balance them with yours.
      Another random thought:
      What are positive and what are negative side – almost all of that depends on the couple, and not what the society feels.

  2. Bonsai says:

    When I read “old” in your title I went too far! In hindsight, i married for all the wrong reasons when I was 18. At my current age which is nearly grandmotherly (although I am not), companionship…getting along and being happy with the simplest things is everything. We like scrabble and staying in.

  3. Florence says:

    I think it’s beautiful when two people with age gaps get together very happily. For example, there is a 21 year-old male who chased after a 27 year-old senior, and they’re very happy together now. Things like that are beautiful.

  4. LISA says:

    Nice post Grace!
    I recently discovered a new dating app where you use voice only to get to know someone. The more you talk, the more their pictures gets unblurred. Maybe you can do a review on it!

    http://getunveil.com

  5. stenoodie says:

    Lol, I know where your mom comes from. She is worried about you as a mom because she doesn’t want you to be alone. However, society has changed. Not everyone has to or wants to get married nowadays. All that matters is that you are happy and content with your own life.

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