Modern Romance: Too many choices

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Today, my post is going to be based off the book, “Modern Romance”. It is a research-based book that is written by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg. It is extremely interesting and insightful, so I highly recommend!!

Due to the advancement in our technology, it has evolved how we date. Today, we can access hundreds of singles with only a few clicks or swipes. It is honestly too easy. In our parents’ generation, if a guy wanted to ask a girl out, he would either have to call through the landline or do it in person. If we go back to before the invention of the telephone, people had no choice but to do everything in person.

Now, we don’t even need to put in effort anymore. Within minutes, people could message or spam hundreds of potentials. There are so many choices and dating sites/apps allow us to customize and filter what we want. 

Only Asians? Ok. Only women between 18-25? Ok. You get the point.

My friend downloaded a dating app and within a day, she received over 640 messages from men. Can you believe it? If the guys had to call her and start a conversation, how many do you think would actually go through with it?

In addition, my generation is so drawn to our phones that asking people out and/or breaking up with people over text is actually no longer surprising. In fact, research shows that most of the younger generation is ok with it.

So, we have lowered the amount of efforts required for both men and women. Furthermore, we expect more and want more than the previous generations. In the past, people got married because they needed to produce children in order to sustain their farmland. They needed children to do the labour. It was for survival and duty.

But today, we’re not satisfied with just anyone. Our standards have gone up. We want someone who makes us feel complete. We want someone who shares similar interests as us. We want someone who we can’t live without.

Not only that, dating is more complicated because there are unwritten rules that we all follow now. For instance:

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But some may say, but Grace, isn’t it better we have choices now? We are no longer forced to marry our neighbours! That is a good thing.  Continue reading “Modern Romance: Too many choices”

Feel the fear and do it anyway

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When I first saw this book, I thought to myself, “Wow, the title sucks. And the cover is SOOOOOO ugly. Who designed it?”. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a try. It’s one of the many books my Uncle Aaron had given me. (He probably gave me 40-50 books. I’ll slowly pry through them all….)

Anyhow, this was one of the most comforting books I have ever read. It was very empowering. So don’t judge a book by the title or cover!!

My favourite part of the book was when it talked about the importance of developing a Pain-to-Power vocabulary. Basically, the way you use words has a tremendous impact on the quality of your life. For example:

Pain —————————————-> Power

I can’t                                                                             I won’t
I should                                                                         I could
It’s not my fault                                                           I’m totally responsible
It’s a problem                                                               It’s an opportunity
I’m never satisfied                                                      I want to learn and grow
Life’s a struggle                                                           Life’s an adventure
I hope                                                                             I know
If only                                                                            Next time
What will I do?                                                             I know I can handle it
It’s terrible                                                                   It’s a learning experience

“I can’t” implies you have no control over the situation. Whereas, “I won’t” means you were the one making that choice. We should all aim to use more empowering words rather than destructive words. Mindset is key. Most of the time, the situation is what you make of it. Stop drowning yourself in pain and change the way you think.

I really like this line, “No one is immune to pain, and it shouldn’t be denied when it exists. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are.” Continue reading “Feel the fear and do it anyway”

Some more wisdom

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I actually wasn’t going to write this post. However, my friend Jack was like, “I went on a trip to Asia for 3 weeks and you still haven’t posted anything new!”

Sooooo… I’m going to share some meaningful lines I’ve recently read from a book. The book is by Deepak Chopra, and it is called “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. It was given to me by my Uncle Aaron. (Thanks, Uncle).

“Being ego-based power, it lasts only as long as the object of reference is there. If you have a certain title – if you’re the president of the country or the chairman of a corporation – or if you have a lot of money, the power you enjoy goes with the title, with the job, and with the money. Ego-based power will only last as long as those things last. As soon as the title, the job, the money go away, so does the power.”

Hmm.. honestly, I feel like that’s how our society define success. You have to have certain things and make a specific amount, or you wouldn’t be considered “successful”.

Having money definitely makes life a lot easier. I am sure all of us want to be financially stable. Who wouldn’t want to have more?

But how much do you need before you’re satisfied? If you only see your value based on what you can buy with money, I think that’s rather sad. Continue reading “Some more wisdom”

Think and Grow Rich

Originally, I was going to write a post on, “Why I hate the Education System”. But I’ll save that for next week since the book “Think And Grow Rich” is freshly on my mind.

I’ve heard great things about the book, so I figured, why not read the book? After all, you can never be too inspired, right? 😉

Anyhow, in my opinion, the book is powerful BUT some of the chapters seemed a bit repetitive and/or unnecessary. I definitely didn’t read every word, but there are some very meaningful/deep points that intrigued me. I would like to share them with you:

1. “A quitter never wins – and a winner never quits.” 

This is so simple and obvious. However, I find it so inspiring. If you want to succeed in anything, you have to keep going even when things are tough. If you quit, then you automatically lose.

This reminds me of a time when someone told me, “I never listen to quitters.”

Many times, quitters will tell you that you cannot do things because they themselves couldn’t do it. Has a winner ever told you to quit? 

Continue reading “Think and Grow Rich”

The Virtual World

virtual world

Today’s blog post is inspired by the book, “Ready Player One” by Ernest Cline.

My friend Dan lent me this book, and to my surprise, I actually loved it! Normally, I would never read something like this because:

  1. I don’t really like science fiction.
  2. I don’t game at all. I have no knowledge whatsoever, and never had the desire to learn.

But despite this, the book was very well written. I’m not going to tell you what it’s about (Read it for yourself if you want to find out), but something from the book triggered me to write this post.

I want to talk about the virtual world.

Continue reading “The Virtual World”

Born To Win

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It turns out that my Uncle Aaron reads my blog!!!! He checks my facebook weekly for my new post! I am quite delighted and surprised because I never knew I had a secret fan. (Hehe, thanks Uncle!) Anyhow, my uncle recommended a book called, “Born To Win” to me, and he gave me his copy from 40 years ago! Currently, I’m still in the process of reading it but it’s very interesting. I am actually taking notes as I read it. Haha. It is a book on psychology, and there are many experiments and exercises you can do that allows you to become more aware of the person that you are.

There are two topics that especially stood out to me, and I want to share it with my readers.

Continue reading “Born To Win”

The Little Prince

The Little Prince

Many of you may have heard of the book called, “My Little Prince”. It is a well known classic although most of us may not have read it. I’ve had a copy since I was a child, but I never got passed Chapter One because I was young and foolish back then. Recently though, thanks to Ramexabella, I decided to give the book another try.

Now I can say it’s my favourite fictional book.

This is a very bold statement considering how much I used to read.

It is so good that I am inspired to write about it. I want everyone else to read it.

What makes it so special?

There is so much depth and meaning. The words stay with me even after the book is closed. It’s about life, childhood, and mankind.

I don’t want to tell you what the story is about, but I want to share some of the lessons from the book.

Back in the little Prince’s planet, there were invisible seeds. Some were good, and some were bad. At first, everything looks alright. The baobabs (bad seeds) resemble the rosebushes (good seeds). Therefore, one must check regularly to see what is growing. As soon as a baobab can be recognized, it must be torn out. If you intervene too late, you will never get rid of it. Its roots will spread all over the planet and your planet can explode.

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This may seem ridiculous, but it’s a matter of discipline. “Before they grow to such a size, baobabs start out by being small.

The way I interpret this is that the baobab represents our negative thoughts. We’re constantly surrounded by negativity. We are not aware of the impact it can have on us if we allow it to grow. If we leave it, it can be indestructible.

Personally, I know some people who cannot see the good in anything. They are so negative that all they feel is hate, anger, and sadness. They have allowed their baobabs to multiply and it has consumed their world.

Lesson: It is important that we reflect on our actions and thoughts on a regular basis. If there is an issue that bothers or saddens you, deal with it immediately! Don’t wait.

Continue reading “The Little Prince”