Are your expectations killing your relationships?


A couple days ago, I was in the car with my dad as he drove me to the dentist. On our way there, he turned on the radio (Chinese channel) and we happened to come across an interesting topic.

The scenario was: A woman has been dating her boyfriend for around 10 years. However, she kept rejecting his proposal for marriage because she felt like the guy couldn’t support her. Her man decided that he was only going to ask once more. If she’s going to reject him again, then they will break up. However, the woman was furious because she has spent 10 years of her youth with this man. She thinks she’s doing nothing wrong because she wants to motivate him to earn more money. In her opinion, what’s the point of getting married if they cannot afford to start a family together? Therefore, she has called into the radio station to complain.

When I first heard this, I was amused and slightly shocked. The woman should have stated her expectations from the start. The man could have then chose to either stay with her and satisfy her, or break up with her so she could go find someone else.

But then I thought about it, is that even love? It seemed more like a contract to me. It’s like, “Oh, I’ll marry or be with you if you make X amount and you can give me X and do X and etc.”

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