To my dear readers,
This was a topic that I was originally going to post about last Monday. However, I was very hesitant because I did not want to upset or offend anyone with my opinions. After posting my “Conflicted” post, I have decided that I will, in fact, blog about what I want to blog about.
Please remember that this is my opinion. You may or may not agree, but I welcome your feedback.
This post assumes that the men and women are heterosexual*
This week’s post is inspired by my friend’s loving relationship with her boyfriend. She wants to stay anonymous, so let’s call her “Justine” and her man, “Justin”. Haha.
Justine and Justin always seem so happy together. They never appear to have any arguments, and it seems like they’re still in their honeymoon stage after 6 years of dating. It’s as if their relationship is perfect.
I started to observe them. I wanted to know what it is that makes their relationship so successful.
This is not a blog post that tells you appearance doesn’t matter. Because it does.
Initially, when you first meet someone, you judge them based on what he/she looks like.
Some may deny it, but when we first meet someone, our minds are trying to help us figure out the person. We want to know what we are dealing with. It’s like our minds are scrambling to find the pieces of a missing puzzle.
We take what we can get. This includes what the person looks like, his/her choice of clothing, his/her posture, his/her possessions, his/her body language, and so on.
When we were little, a friend could simply be someone who played with us. Perhaps it was someone who liked what we liked. There weren’t really any requirements.
But as we get older, our definition of a friend starts changing. People who we hang out with are not necessarily our friends anymore. Our standards become higher and people have to start earning our friendships.
Everyone’s idea of a friend could vary. However, I believe that the qualities of a true friend is pretty much standard for all of us.
Originally, I was going to post this on Monday. But I can’t wait any longer because I am so mad at the amount of hate and ignorance I see from all over social media.
Yesterday, the Supreme Court in the U.S. ruled that same sex couples are now allowed to marry no matter where they live. This is something to celebrate about!! EQUAL RIGHTS.
However, there are still so many people all over the Internet who are hating and frustrated over this decision.
Instead of blogging about motivational things this week, I want to share something that I find quite interesting and true for most traditional Asian families.
Note: This post is based on my experiences, as well as many others. It is not to say all Asian parents are like this.
Punishment
Asian parents believe it is totally acceptable to beat their children. They believe that punishment will deter an undesirable behaviour from happening again. Perhaps the child will be too afraid to get hit, so he/she will be too frightened to misbehave.
Once, my friends and I were randomly discussing over getting beaten as a child, and we went through a circle telling each other what we were hit with. Surprisingly, all of our parents used different things! The list consisted of: hand, a stick, a feather duster, a broom, newspaper, a ruler, a coat hanger, a rope, a hockey stick, and even a baseball bat. When we heard “baseball bat”, all of us were slightly amused and surprised at the same time. We all went, “Woaahhhh.” After all, baseball bats are so heavy/hard! That’s brutal!! But we had a great laugh. We all turned out fine, I think.
The Western society might find this shocking and unacceptable, but it is very common if you grew up with traditional Asian parents.
A couple days ago, my friend said this to me, “A woman’s loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything.” Although it’s simply two sentences, I feel like it holds so much truth.
Would a woman really stay with a man who has nothing? And if a man has everything, would he really be satisfied staying with one woman?
If you were to get onto a bus, and there were only one seat. Assuming you wanted to sit, you would be very grateful to see a seat, and you would happily sit on it. On the other hand, if you were on an empty bus, you would probably not sit on the very first seat you see. Instead, you would try to find a seat that has the best view (along with it being the cleanest and most spacious). I think it’s fair to say that when we have options, we tend to be pickier.
Grow with me 